The Central Scrutinizer
Act I
PRELUDE
Desperate nerds in high offices all over the world have been known to
enact the most disgusting pieces of legislation in order to win votes
(or, in ...
Act I
PRELUDE
Desperate nerds in high offices all over the world have been known to
enact the most disgusting pieces of legislation in order to win votes
(or, in ...
Many well-dressed people
In several locations
Are kissing quite a bit
Later in the evening
Leaves will fall
Tears will flow
Wind will blow
Some rain; some sno...
I want a nasty little Jewish Princess
With long phony nails and a hairdo that rinses
A horny little Jewish Princess
With a garlic aroma that could level Tacoma
Lonely inside
City of tiny lites
Don't you wanna go
Hear the tiny auto horns
When they tiny blow
Tiny lightin'
In the storm
Tiny blankets
Keep you warm
Tiny pillows
Hey there, people, I'm Bobby Brown
They say I'm the cutest boy in town
My car is fast, my teeth is shiney
I tell all the girls they can kiss my heinie
Here I am at a famous sch...
What ever happened to all the fun in the world?
Larry's not with us any more; he went on y'know
Yeah Yeah
He bit the big one
Ahem Yeah
Well, he's got his own little piece...
Listen to him go!
Wait a minute; we gotta get somethin' real happenin' here
He's in there spendin' thousands of dollars 'n' shit...
We should make this worthwhile
We should
My baby's got
Jones crushin' love
Jones crushin' love
Jones crushin' love
Well my baby's got
Jones crushin' love
Jones crushin' love
Jones crushin' love
...
Hey! Do you know what you are?
You're an asshole!
An ASSHOLE!
Some of you might not agree
'Cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will ...
Flakes! Flakes!
Flakes! Flakes!
They don't do no good
They never be workin'
When they oughta should
They waste your time
They're wastin' mine
Californi...
I have been in you, baby
And you
Have been in me
And we
Have be
So intimately
Entwined
And it sure was fine
I have been in you, baby
And yo...
FZ: Arf . . .
Bird Legs: About that tempo?
FZ: Mm-hm
Bird Legs: Damn!
FZ: Gettin' tired?
Bird Legs: No, unh-unh . . . my fingers got stuck!...
Time is money . . .
But Space is a long, long time!
Perhaps you are surprised
To see I speak your language?
But I have been monitoring
Your Earthly broadcas...
Listen carefully,
SPIDER OF DESTINY!
You must heed the call
Of COSMO-BIOLOGY!
Listen to me!
If you eat the Earthlings now,
Things will all be fine, AND THEN,...
Lemme take you to the beach
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Lemme take you to the beach
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-lahhh
Bring the the weenies
I'll bring the soft drinks
He used to be very kind . . .
(In his own crude way)
He wasn't always like I wanted him to be!
He wasn't smart
He wasn't handsome either
But he thrilled me
W...
[includes quotes from Big Swifty (FZ), Chameleon (JacksonMasonMaupinHancock), Dust My Broom (Elmore James), Entry Of The Gladiators (Julius Fucik), Billy The Mountain (FZ), Louie Louie (Richard Berry)...
FZ: Thank you Don.
Don Pardo: Hey, Frank! Hey, I did it, Frank . . . Yay, we did it! Didn't we?
FZ: That's right, we did it
Don Pardo: Yay, yay, yay
FZ: And for our next...
The Illinois Enema Bandit
I heard he's on the loose
I heard he's on the loose
Lord, the pitiful screams
Of all them college-educated women . . .
Boy, he'd just be tyin' '...
Find her finer, sneak up behind her
Wrapped like a mummy till you finally unwind her
Find her blinder, see who designed her
Act like a dummy till you finally grind her
I...
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