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My wife was afraid of the dar...

My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

My wife and I were happy for ...

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

When I was born I was so ugly...

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

My wife wants sex in the back...

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

A girl phoned me the other da...

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

My mother never breast fed me...

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

What a kid I got, I told him ...

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I had plenty of pimples as a ...

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I stuck my head out the windo...

I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old...

Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I'll tell ya, my wife and I, ...

I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Last week I told my psychiatr...

Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I asked my wife, 'On a scale ...

I asked my wife, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said, 'You know I'm no good at fractions.'

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

With my old man I got no resp...

With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

My son's an idiot. His teache...

My son's an idiot. His teacher asked him to spell Mississippi. He asked which one? The river or the state?

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

My wife isn't very bright. Th...

My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

My doctor told me to watch my...

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I told my kids, "Someday, you...

I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I tell ya, I knew my morning ...

I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I told my wife a man is like ...

I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

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Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

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Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

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Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

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Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....