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My sex life is like shooting ...

My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

It's nice to be the best, but...

It's nice to be the best, but not when being the best brings out the worst in you.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Oh, when I was a kid, I was p...

Oh, when I was a kid, I was poor. Christmas, I got no presents. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn - Prancer and Dancer - they dropped off a little something.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

With girls, I don't think rig...

With girls, I don't think right. I had a date with one girl, she had mirrors all over her bedroom. She told me to come over and bring a bottle. I got Windex.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

My boy is a mean kid. I came ...

My boy is a mean kid. I came home the other day and saw him taping worms to the sidewalk, he sits there and watches the birds get hernias. Well, only last Christmas I gave him a B-B gun and he gave me a sweatshirt with a bulls-eye on the back. I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I had a date with an inflatab...

I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

[on 8/24/04, before entering ...

[on 8/24/04, before entering a Los Angeles hospital for heart valve replacement surgery] If things go right, I'll be there about a week, and if things don't go right, I'll be there about an hour and a half.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Women my age just don't turn ...

Women my age just don't turn me on. That's another problem with getting older. I took out an older woman the other night, and I mean old. I told her, Act your age. She died.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

His breath is so bad why ever...

His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

When I told my wife she was l...

When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Last Halloween a kid tried to...

Last Halloween a kid tried to rip my face off. He thought it was a mask. Now it's different when I open the door the kids hand me candy.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I've learned to control every...

I've learned to control everything. I don't get angry at anything. Somebody can do me wrong. That's life. What good is it to get angry?

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I came from a real tough neig...

I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I shouldn't tell jokes about ...

I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I took my son to Coney island...

I took my son to Coney island, I said "wanna go in the crazy house?", he said "save your money we'll be home soon"!

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

A sense of humor is rare. It ...

A sense of humor is rare. It isn't telling a joke about how there are three ways to get to heaven. It's being in a restaurant and hearing someone say, Everyone's got their tale of woe, and then turning around and saying, Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tail.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

If sex is a pain in the ass, ...

If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

When I was a kid I got no res...

When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Oh, when I was a kid in show ...

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

My wife made me join a bridge...

My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

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Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

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Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

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Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

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Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....