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You have to change those diape...

You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

Did you know babies are nausea...

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they'll spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

The thing about that singles a...

The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

By the time we get to church, ...

By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

The things that I'm talking ab...

The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

That's just something instinct...

That's just something instinctual within men. We always feel like we've got to protect our stuff. Even if it's not worth protecting, we want to protect it. You ever seen people who have like a piece of crap Pinto with a Club on the steering wheel. Somebody breaks the window, steals the Club, leaves the Pinto in a pile of glass.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

If your idea of a 7 course mea...

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You take a normal guy, give hi...

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

If your wife's hairdo has ever...

If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You might be a redneck if...th...

You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You might be a redneck if...yo...

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You might be a redneck if...yo...

You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You might be a redneck if...yo...

You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You might be a redneck if...yo...

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You might be a redneck if...Yo...

You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

A lot of people up North, they...

A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

If someone at Fleet Farm offer...

If someone at Fleet Farm offers you assistance and they don't work there you might live in Wisconsin.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You might be a redneck if the ...

You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

It's not my dreams that get me...

It's not my dreams that get me in trouble, it's what my wife dreams I did. My wife punched me in the middle of the night; I woke up and went Oww! What was that for?, and she goes I dreamt you were making out with Faith Hill. I said I wasn't dreaming anything! Send her over to my dreams, and we'll both be happy.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

If you can't remember the last...

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

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Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....