Skip to main content

You might be a redneck if you...

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You might be a redneck if the...

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

This happened to me last week...

This happened to me last week. We're in the process of remodeling our house; we've been doing it for a while now. And we have the painters in, putting sheets up around the furniture, you know? And we have a piano, just a regular, up against the wall piano. One of the painters said to me, "Is that y'all's piano?" I said, "Nah, that's our coffee table, it just has buckteeth! Here's your Sign!

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You might be a redneck if you...

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You find out that all this st...

You find out that all this stuff you've accumulated, you could care less about it. It's just the relationships that matter.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

Some people like to keep thei...

Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open. I say let the grass grow tall so they don't know there's a house behind it. Some call it lazy, I say it's thinking.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

If your mother doesn't remove...

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You know you're a redneck if ...

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You break into my house, I wi...

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You might be a redneck if you...

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

I notice my wife when she's o...

I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives with each other. See men once we become friends with another man we may never say another word to him, unless there's valuable information that needs to be exchanged. Things like "Hey Jim, your shirt's on fire."

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

I've got nothing against tatt...

I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say "Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again."

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You might be a redneck if you...

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

A lot of people up North, the...

A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You might be a redneck if you...

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

Nowadays you can't even spank...

Nowadays you can't even spank your kids. No, gotta give 'em a time out. My dad would take time out of his busy day... to whip our ass.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You can call us rednecks if y...

You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You might be a redneck if you...

You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

Whatever cleaning goes on on ...

Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we're gonna talk about it all year long. It might be on the news, you don't know. A woman could be out re-paving the driveway. Men actually have enough gall to run out on the porch and go "Hey baby? Man, it's hot as hell out here, ain't it! Look, don't worry about emptyin' that ashtray in the den, I done got it, all right? Did it for you, sweet pea. I'm gonna go take a nap now, all right?"

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

You might be a redneck if you...

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

Jeff Foxworthy 377 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....