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I'm a downer. I've been depres...

I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Man, who don't like spaghetti?...

Man, who don't like spaghetti?

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I recently had double-bypass s...

I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Time and tide and hookers wait...

Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

If every man was as true to hi...

If every man was as true to his country as he was to his wife, we'd be in a lot of trouble.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

After I got divorced, I said t...

After I got divorced, I said to myself, I will never, ever get married again. It was in cement. I went through a really rough twenty-five years, but it happened again. I fell in love. I told her, Baby, I don't want a prenuptial agreement. This is it. Everyone told me I was nuts. Well, my new wife and I are married six years and we get along great. You can make anything work if you're both givers.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I can't figure women out. They...

I can't figure women out. They put on makeup for three hours. They wear things that make them smaller. Things that make them bigger. Then they meet a man and they want truth.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

When you walk up five flights ...

When you walk up five flights of stairs at four in the morning, there's definitely a hooker involved.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I started over again with an i...

I started over again with an image: Nothing goes right. Then when The Godfather came out, all I heard was, Show respect. With me, you show respect. So I changed the image to I don't get no respect. I tried it out in Greenwich Village. I remember the first joke I told: Even as a kid, I'd play hide and seek and the other kids wouldn't even look for me. The people laughed. After the show, they started saying to me, Me, too - I don't get no respect. I figured, let's try it again.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

When I was forty, I was gettin...

When I was forty, I was getting divorced, living in a low-class, dirty hotel in New York. My mother was dying of cancer. I owed $20,000. That was about the lowest. I came back to show business, and I couldn't get a job. I was turned down by every small-time agent in New York.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I was an ugly child. I got los...

I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I'm not a hypochondriac, but m...

I'm not a hypochondriac, but my gynaecologist firmly believes I am.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Look out for number one and tr...

Look out for number one and try not to step in number two.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

My kids scotch tape worms to t...

My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

You wanna have laughs? Do what...

You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

To give you an idea how well I...

To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

People ask if I can get it up ...

People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Group sex, are you kidding, I ...

Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

My wife is so fat that the las...

My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I was so ugly my parents had t...

I was so ugly my parents had to hang a pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with me.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....