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My house used to be haunted, ...

My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

This woman was so cross-eyed....

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

My husband is so useless that...

My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

I should have suspected my hu...

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch."

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

I'm beginning to have morning...

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

Sex is identical to comedy in...

Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

By far the most common cravin...

By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

A friend told me the longer y...

A friend told me the longer you keep Romano cheese, the better it gets. So, I kept it three years. And this thing turned mean. Now and then I'd open the refrigerator door and throw it some food. I'd have to walk it now and then. And then it grew this one leg. And it's got this ugly fuzz all over it. And the dogs won't run with it.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

I am descended from a very lo...

I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

Once my husband said to me, '...

Once my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

We named all our children Kid...

We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

Too many comics today ramble....

Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

Fang took the entire family o...

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

Religion is such a medieval i...

Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

The only time I ever enjoyed i...

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

Nothing was happening in the b...

Nothing was happening in the bedroom. I nicknamed our waterbed the Dead Sea.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

My house used to be haunted, b...

My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

My timing is so precise a heck...

My timing is so precise a heckler would have to make an appointment just to get a word in.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

Some wives have model husbands...

Some wives have model husbands, I got one that needed remodeling.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

Remember there is no way you c...

Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.

Phyllis Diller 255 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

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Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

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Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

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Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

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Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....