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You can figure out how bad a p...

You can figure out how bad a person you are by how soon after September 11th you masturbated, like how long you waited... and for me it was between the two buildings going down... I had to do it, otherwise they'd win.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Last week I got a flu that I c...

Last week I got a flu that I caught, 'cause my daughter coughed... into my mouth.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Sorry - Americans only buy thi...

Sorry - Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someone's getting hurt.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I don't have a gun, but if I d...

I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Most people are dead. Hitler. ...

Most people are dead. Hitler. Ray Charles. Some other guys. But mostly those two.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I don't have sex drive... I ha...

I don't have sex drive... I have sex 'just sit in the car and hope someone gets in'.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Expensive quality work doesn't...

Expensive quality work doesn't cost more - it pays.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

To me, there's a huge differen...

To me, there's a huge difference between criticism and reviewing. I really love reading good criticism of television and film. To me, a critic is someone who analyzes a show, describes it, talks about the people in it, puts it in historical context of other shows like it, compares it and stuff, and then talks about the intent of the show and whether it failed or didn't.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

You would never do stand-up wi...

You would never do stand-up without an audience. I mean, no one would even consider it. It's like they're the instrument you're playing.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Performing comedy, you develop...

Performing comedy, you develop a rhythm of ideas and laughs. I live for it.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

You have to do a show as hones...

You have to do a show as honestly as you can. But you also can't afford skepticism, because it's preparing for failure, which is useless.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I've always got the road. Stan...

I've always got the road. Stand-up makes you so autonomous and self-sufficient that it really helps with that part of show business.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

If I'm not on tour, I can run ...

If I'm not on tour, I can run down to the comedy club and do a little stand-up. If you're an actor, you can't go - I guess there's forms of it.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I'm bored' is a useless thing ...

I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you're alive is amazing, so you don't get to say 'I'm bored.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

You're a tourist in sexual per...

You're a tourist in sexual perversion. I'm a prisoner there.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

If you think everything you've...

If you think everything you've done is great, you're probably dumb.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

It's hard having kids because ...

It's hard having kids because it's boring... It's just being with them on the floor while they be children. They read Clifford the Big Red Dog to you at a rate of 50 minutes a page, and you have to sit there and be horribly proud and bored at the same time.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

You know when you see a mother...

You know when you see a mother someplace just melting down on her kid? She's like, 'Shut up, I hate you, you're ugly!'... Any parents there are thinking, 'What did that shitty kid do to that poor woman? That poor woman. I wish I could help.'

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

You can't answer a kid's quest...

You can't answer a kid's question. A kid never accepts any answer. A kid never says, 'Oh, thanks. I get it.'... They just keep coming with more questions - why, why, why? - until you don't even know who the fk you are anymore at the end of the conversation. It's an insane deconstruction.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I can't just sit on my daughte...

I can't just sit on my daughter's bed and just say 'n---' all night and then put her to sleep. I just ain't gonna do that... I told the girls that these boys are racists, and they're not nice boys. But I think we can still enjoy the stories about the fishin' and the tradin'.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....