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Bill has three goldfish. He bu...

Bill has three goldfish. He buys two more. How many dogs live in London?

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Young people don't even consid...

Young people don't even consider that it's a good idea to be out on the fringe, which is where good ideas come from.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

If you had a jetpack you'd be ...

If you had a jetpack you'd be like I have the shittiest jetpack. Who's your service provider on your jetpack? Did they make the new one? I hate this thing.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Stereotypically speaking femin...

Stereotypically speaking feminists can't take a joke. ::audience boo:: See?

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

The only road to doing good sh...

The only road to doing good shows, is doing bad shows.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I'm a good citizen. I'm a good...

I'm a good citizen. I'm a good father. I recycle and I masturbate.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I used to like people more, bu...

I used to like people more, but now I have children and that changes your life in a lot of ways. Like you spend time with people you never would have chosen to spend time with, not in a million years. I spend whole days with people, I'm like, 'I never would have hung out with you. I didn't choose you. Our children chose each other based on no criteria by the way. They're the same size. They don't care who they make me hang out with.'

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I just don't trust any of it. ...

I just don't trust any of it. Every time I read something about how there's been another ridiculous climb of the Dow Jones, there's a part of me that goes, 'This can't be good.' None of this is real money. You know what I mean? It's not like there's actually more of anything. It's just ideas. When people are getting richer and richer but they're not actually producing anything, it can't end well.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I've started to kind of hate p...

I've started to kind of hate people, and it's not because I have anything against them. It's just, I enjoy it. It's recreation.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I killed my Facebook page year...

I killed my Facebook page years ago because time clicking around is just dead time. Your brain isn't resting and it isn't doing. I think people have to get their heads around this thing. All this unmitigated input is hurting folks.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

If you're older, you're smarte...

If you're older, you're smarter. I just believe that. If you're in an argument with someone older than you, you should listen to 'em. Even if they're wrong, their wrongness is rooted in more information than you have.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I did a show in New Jersey in ...

I did a show in New Jersey in the auditorium of a technical high school ... Technical high school, that's where dreams are narrowed down. We tell our children, 'You can do anything you want.' Their whole lives. 'You can do anything!' But this place, we take kids - they're 15, they're young - and we tell them, 'You can do eight things. We got it down to eight for you.'

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

God is like a shitty girlfrien...

God is like a shitty girlfriend.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

If you do something and people...

If you do something and people think you're stupid, just go for crazy. You get more respect that way because nobody likes stupid people.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I ate too much and masturbated...

I ate too much and masturbated too recently, you know? It's bad to like jerk off and run out the door, 'cause you run into somebody. 'Oh, she knows...' You got to take some time alone to process the shame.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I am really tired of looking a...

I am really tired of looking at my hips. I'm seriously really tired of standing naked in the mirror and staring at my hips for hours and hours while muttering, 'You hips. You hips need to get it together.'

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Out of the people that ever we...

Out of the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead. There are way more dead people, and you're all gonna die and then you're gonna be dead for way longer than you're alive. Like that's mostly what you're ever gonna be. You're just dead people that didn't die yet.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Bill Gates has 90 billion doll...

Bill Gates has 90 billion dollars ... If I had 90 billion dollars, I wouldn't have it for long because I would just dream of all the crazy stuff I could do with it. This guy, 90 billion dollars. He could buy every baseball team and make them all wear dresses and still have 88 billion dollars.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

There's nowhere I won't go. As...

There's nowhere I won't go. As long as it's horribly, horribly true and/or wrong.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

You have to be aware of who yo...

You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

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Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

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Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

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Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

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Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....