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Once you put bacon into a sal...

Once you put bacon into a salad it's no longer a salad, it just becomes a game of find the bacon in the lettuce. It's like you're panning for gold, hmmmmm, EUREKA!

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

The Pearly Gates. Am I the on...

The Pearly Gates. Am I the only one who finds it odd that Heaven has gates? What kind of neighborhood is Heaven in?

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

For me, it's always a little ...

For me, it's always a little sad getting out of bed. Every morning after I get up, I always gaze longingly at my bed and lament, 'You were wonderful last night. I didn't want it to end. I can't wait to see you again.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

What was the idea behind Hot ...

What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, 'Hey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, and you could dunk it in the toilet.'

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Nursery schools and bars at 2...

Nursery schools and bars at 2 a.m. are the only places where it is completely normal if someone just spontaneously throws up on the floor...and just like a toddler, the bar patron wakes up the next day not remembering or caring how they behaved.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

There's something about being...

There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I'm an eccentric, silly, obse...

I'm an eccentric, silly, observational guy, but I'm not gonna frighten off social conservatives.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Comedians kind of write what ...

Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

My whole comic persona is tha...

My whole comic persona is that of a guy who explores the id: I romanticize gluttony, I romanticize laziness, and people identify with that.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I've always wanted to be an a...

I've always wanted to be an actor. I've never planned on the acting and the stand-up feeding each other; they've always been separate desires.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I'm from Indiana. I know what...

I'm from Indiana. I know what you're thinking, Indiana... Mafia. But in Indiana it's not like New York where everyone's like, 'We're from New York and we're the best' or 'We're from Texas and we like things big' it's more like 'We're from Indiana and we're gonna move.'

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I'm a big eater. I mean, a lo...

I'm a big eater. I mean, a lot of my stand-up is about food, and you write about what you know, and that's the only thing I know. I don't know anything else.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

As a dad, you are the Vice Pr...

As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I would say some of the food ...

I would say some of the food I talk about that I really enjoy, like cake and bacon, I eat a lot less than I portray in my act. But that stuff that I dislike, it's pretty sincere.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

There's something that's real...

There's something that's really fun about the challenge of making the mundane funny, too, I think.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I'm closer to Bob Newhart tha...

I'm closer to Bob Newhart than Rodney Dangerfield.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I try to only eat animals tha...

I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I'm probably the opposite of a vegan.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Why would a lazy guy become a...

Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently don't like change and criticism become writers, actors, or comedians? There's something about this process. I joke about it: My kids have made me a better person, and I only need, like, 34 more of them to be a really good guy.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I don't know, I find that hon...

I don't know, I find that honestly, the stand-up thing in some ways is a little bit of a cliche to carry around, because people don't consider stand-ups really actors.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I worked on 'USA Today' as a ...

I worked on 'USA Today' as a topic for while. I tried to do something on hand chairs, chairs that look like hands. I really tried. But some topics are not truly universal.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....