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All my friends are always tel...

All my friends are always telling me how hard it is to have kids. 'Oh, David, it's so hard.' That's not hard. I'll tell you what hard is. Try talking your girlfriend into her third consecutive abortion. Yeah, that's hard, that takes finesse. You're just inconvenienced.

David Cross 91 quotes

Hopefully people are upset fo...

Hopefully people are upset for the reason I want them to be upset. Even when I was doing open mics, I've always had people upset. I've never been the consummate crowd-pleaser.

David Cross 91 quotes

I just often find myself gett...

I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous.

David Cross 91 quotes

Ive got a lot of friends ther...

Ive got a lot of friends there and there is stuff to do but as much as I dislike LA I really like living and working in New York City.

David Cross 91 quotes

I think for a lot of people, ...

I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.

David Cross 91 quotes

Most people who have kids are...

Most people who have kids are, "Hey, I want another me. I like me. I'm pretty cool, and I've got really great ideas, and the way I think is the right way to think. Let's put another one of me out there.

David Cross 91 quotes

I've never written jokes. I m...

I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.

David Cross 91 quotes

I work a lot and I like to ge...

I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.

David Cross 91 quotes

If you want to reinstate the ...

If you want to reinstate the 14.4 billion dollars that Bush cut out of the veterans program then vote democrat.

David Cross 91 quotes

Because I think whenever you ...

Because I think whenever you sit down with another human being who would absolutely disagree with you on every issue, you learn about them as a person and you relate, in human terms, and it's much more difficult for either side to dismiss out of hand, like that person's a freak, that person's a Nazi.

David Cross 91 quotes

There's quite an overlap betw...

There's quite an overlap between musicians - especially drummers - who have an affection and a proclivity towards comedy and comedians who fantasize about being in a band. And a lot of comics play instruments.

David Cross 91 quotes

If people disagree with me an...

If people disagree with me and want to articulate it, that's not only their right but almost their obligation.

David Cross 91 quotes

It probably does make it more...

It probably does make it more difficult to enjoy a good laugh at someone who's onstage, seemingly yelling at you. But I'm not yelling at the audience, I'm yelling at the world. It genuinely sucks if people are taking it that way. But I'm not talking to individuals.

David Cross 91 quotes

I have a few business ideas (...

I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.

David Cross 91 quotes

Once you get into the [Donald...

Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff, you get people going, "I didn't come here to have my political views bashed."

David Cross 91 quotes

It's easy to see that two peo...

It's easy to see that two people might come up with that same idea.

David Cross 91 quotes

I do lots of other drugs but ...

I do lots of other drugs but I smoke pot maybe 5-10 times a year now. I used to smoke it all the time, but I don't, and I haven't for awhile. That's just because it makes me - and I'm not saying this about everybody else - but it makes me kind of dumb and self-conscious.

David Cross 91 quotes

As far as just my stand-up is...

As far as just my stand-up is concerned, I don't care about changing anyone's mind. I'm not making an argument. I'm a guy doing comedy.

David Cross 91 quotes

James Lipton: The most pompou...

James Lipton: The most pompous arrogant failure in history.

David Cross 91 quotes

I'd say 95 percent of my audi...

I'd say 95 percent of my audience was white. They were mostly kind of older hipster folks like myself.

David Cross 91 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....