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You ever hear girls say that?...

You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!"

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

Recently started flat ironing...

Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is; if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

I hope we find a cure for eve...

I hope we find a cure for every major disease, because I'm tired of walking 5K. I'm pretty sure I don't have to sweat for cancer. I'll write a check.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

I don't know what popping-and...

I don't know what popping-and-locking is but I know to lock my car door whenever people are doing it.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

I assume the only reason we h...

I assume the only reason we have them is so that white people feel relevant in sports. Because other than that the only thing the winter Olympics show me is which country has more rich white kids. What's it cost to go skiing - $900 a day? I can't believe that's not more popular in the inner cities.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Teb...

Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

It’s the ultimate pinnacle of...

It’s the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they’ve been good to me.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

Something horrible happens an...

Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at your local burrito stand, and you know, you think "how can you make a joke about this?"

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

Of course the sexiest thing a...

Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

e foundation to a good friend...

e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

If security guards aren't all...

If security guards aren't allowed to carry guns, I don't have to obey their made up rules.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

Thank you people that are lau...

Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching people that don't laugh make the people that do laugh feel shitty about themselves.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

I really don’t work a whole l...

I really don’t work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It’s really made the touring a lot less grueling.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

You never see anyone wearing ...

You never see anyone wearing a black turtleneck and leather jacket doing something nice.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

I worked in Toronto for two d...

I worked in Toronto for two days. And by work I mean sit in a trailer for 15 hours, say two lines, and leave.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

Scattergories is second base ...

Scattergories is second base for Christians.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

Canadians complain too much. ...

Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I; that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

I think pro-athletes should b...

I think pro-athletes should be forced to use steroids. I think we as fans deserve the greatest athletes science can create! Lets go! Anything that will make you run faster, jump higher! I have High-Definition TV! I want my athletes like my video games! Lets go! I could care less if you die at 40. You hate life after sports anyways. I'm doing you a favor.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

I think if you're gonna get a...

I think if you're gonna get a tattoo, just get one: the words, 'I'm dumb.' That's it. That way in 10 years, when you go, 'Why did I get this?,' you can be like, 'Oh, I'm dumb!'

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

Saw myself naked in front of ...

Saw myself naked in front of a mirror a couple days ago - that's not the joke, that's what we called the setup. I saw myself naked, and I said, 'Holy cow, I'm 'The White Man.' I've heard a lot of bad things about you, cracka.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....