Bob Hope quotes
A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.
Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.
Life is laughter when seen in a long shot, but it is a tragedy when seen in a close-up.
The English laws punish vice; the Chinese laws do more, they reward virtue.
Never lie when the truth is more profitable.
If I had my hand full of truth, I would take good care how I opened it.
Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.
In order to be happy you need a good dog, a good woman, and ready money.
Happiness should always remain a bit incomplete. After all, dreams are boundless.
Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get the negative but Elsie makes a wonderful stuffed cabbage which we'll include gratis a few portions but return the jars please.
I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.
If America cannot win a war in a week, it begins negotiating with itself.
Bargaining is a repulsive habit; compromise is one of the highest human virtues - the difference between the two being that the first is practised on the Continent, the latter in Great Britain.
It's just as unpleasant to get more than you bargain for as to get less.
I like friends as I like music - when I am in the mood.
Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.