A used ... pink bathrobe

A rare ... mint snowglobe

A Smurf ... TV tray

I bought on eBay

My house ... is filled with this crap

Shows up in bubble wrap

Most every day

What I bought on eBay

Tell me why (I need another pet rock)

Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)

Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee)

They had it on eBay

I'll buy ... your knick-knack

Just check ... my feedback

"A++!" they all say

They love me on eBay

Gonna buy (a slightly-damaged golf bag)

Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag)

(From some guy) I've never met in Norway

Found him on eBay

I am the type who is liable to snipe you

With two seconds left to go, whoa

Got Paypal or Visa, what erev'll please

As long as I've got the dough

I'll buy ... your tchotchkes

Sell me ... your watch, please

I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy ...)

I'm highest bidder now

(Junk keeps arriving in the mail)

(From that worldwide garage sale) (Dukes Of Hazard ashtray)

(Hey! A Dukes Of Hazard ashtray)

Oh yeah ... (I bought it on eBay)

Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox)

Wanna buy (a case on vintage tube socks)

Wanna buy (a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre, Dr. Dre)

(Found it on eBay)

Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcet poster)

(Pez dispensers and a toaster)

(Don't know why ... the kind of stuff you'd throw away)

(I'll buy on eBay)

What I bought on eBay-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y