The Buffoon And The Valedictorian
And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's


Valedictorian: "I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most people

are intimidated by my high academic achievement."

Buffoon: "This movie sucks shit!"

Valedictorian: "Well, Ebel gave it thumbs up, but Ciscel thought it was

too preachy. Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensly."

Buffoon: "Cathleen Turner has big fuckin' tits!"

Valedictorian: "Yes, well, she recently had a child. I think her

maternal biology may play a role in that. She looks fabulous for a woman

her age, doesn't she?"

Buffoon: "I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his fuckin'

head off."

Valedictorian: "Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon

for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their

maturing process."

Buffoon: "That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives

everybody head."

Valedictorian: "Well, I guess she's strong for attention and she feels

promiscuity is the only way to obtain it."

[Buffoon eating popcorn]

Buffoon: "This popcorn's fuckin' terrible. It tastes like someone jizzed

all over it."

[Buffoon continues to eat popcorn]

Valedictorian: "Well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly

disturbing. Perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome by

the monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank."

Buffoon: "I looked at my asshole in the mirror today. It blew my fuckin'


Valedictorian: "It's ironic that parts of one's body seems odd and

unusual because you don't see them on a day to day basis.

Buffoon: "My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin' day!"

Valedictorian: "It's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more

overpowering than another's. I wonder whether it is a function of the

food digested or that person's internal metabolism."

Buffoon: "I'm gonna go get head from that fuckin' girl."

[Gets out of the car]

Valedictorian: "Well, I'm sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt


[Buffoon walking away]

"I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future


Buffoon: "I like to piss in that guy's fuckin' gas tank!"

Valedictorian: "Bye bye! Have fun."

[Buffoon continues to walk away