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If you melt dry ice in a pool ...

If you melt dry ice in a pool and go swimming, will you get wet?

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I like to fill my tub up with ...

I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit .

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Winny would spend all of his t...

Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

One day, when I came home from...

One day, when I came home from work, I accidentally put my car key in the door of my apartment building. I turned it, and the whole building started up. So I drove it around. A policeman stopped me for going too fast. He said, 'Where do you live?' I said, 'Right here!' Then I drove my building onto the middle of a highway, and I ran outside, and told all of the cars to get the hell out of my driveway.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I was going to tape some recor...

I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards. I erased the all of the records. When I returned them to my friend, he said, 'Hey, these records are all blank.'

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I broke my arm trying to fold ...

I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

They say we're 98% water. We'r...

They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Four years ago... no, it was y...

Four years ago... no, it was yesterday.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I'd like to sing you a song no...

I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called 'They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring.'

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Sometimes I... No, I don't....

Sometimes I... No, I don't.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I used to be an airline pilot....

I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I used to work at a health foo...

I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I forgot and left the lighthou...

I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I saw a vegetarian wearing a f...

I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. so I looked closer. it was made of grass.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I was thinking that women shou...

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Clones are people two....

Clones are people two.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Ever wonder what the speed of ...

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

Steven Wright 599 quotes

People think my friend George ...

People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

They say you're not supposed t...

They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

You know how it is when you go...

You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment and nobody else shows up and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

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Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

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Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

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Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

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Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....