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My cousin is gay, I always tel...

My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

One time my whole family playe...

One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

One night I came home. I figur...

One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

With my dog I don't get no res...

With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I asked my wife, 'Is there som...

I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I feel sorry for short people,...

I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I once went out with this wild...

I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

My golf game is getting real g...

My golf game is getting real good. Last week, I got through the windmill.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

My life is nothing but pressur...

My life is nothing but pressure. All pressure. This pressure is like a heaviness. It's always on top of me, this heaviness. It's always there since I'm a kid. Other people wake up in the morning, 'A new day! Ah, up and at 'em!' I wake up, the heaviness is waiting for me nice. Sometimes I even talk to it. I say [adopts cheerful voice] 'Hi, heaviness!' and the heaviness looks back at me, [in an ominous growl] 'Today you're gonna get it good. You'll be drinking early today.'

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Oh, this your wife, huh? A lov...

Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I live in a tough neighborhood...

I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Every time I get in an elevato...

Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: `Basement?'

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

When my parents got divorced, ...

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ... and no one showed up.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

When I was 3 years old, my par...

When I was 3 years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Hey, did somebody step on a du...

Hey, did somebody step on a duck?

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

If things go right, I'll be th...

If things go right, I'll be there about a week, and if things don't go right, I'll be there about an hour and a half!

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Sure I smoked pot in hospital....

Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

My ex-wife is a water sign and...

My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I get no respect... I tell you...

I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Last time I saw a mouth like t...

Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

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Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

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Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

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Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

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Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....