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I've learned to control every...

I've learned to control everything. I don't get angry at anything. Somebody can do me wrong. That's life. What good is it to get angry?

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Last Halloween a kid tried to...

Last Halloween a kid tried to rip my face off. He thought it was a mask. Now it's different when I open the door the kids hand me candy.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

When I told my wife she was l...

When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

His breath is so bad why ever...

His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Women my age just don't turn ...

Women my age just don't turn me on. That's another problem with getting older. I took out an older woman the other night, and I mean old. I told her, Act your age. She died.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

[on 8/24/04, before entering ...

[on 8/24/04, before entering a Los Angeles hospital for heart valve replacement surgery] If things go right, I'll be there about a week, and if things don't go right, I'll be there about an hour and a half.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I had a date with an inflatab...

I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

My boy is a mean kid. I came ...

My boy is a mean kid. I came home the other day and saw him taping worms to the sidewalk, he sits there and watches the birds get hernias. Well, only last Christmas I gave him a B-B gun and he gave me a sweatshirt with a bulls-eye on the back. I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

With girls, I don't think rig...

With girls, I don't think right. I had a date with one girl, she had mirrors all over her bedroom. She told me to come over and bring a bottle. I got Windex.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Oh, when I was a kid, I was p...

Oh, when I was a kid, I was poor. Christmas, I got no presents. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn - Prancer and Dancer - they dropped off a little something.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

It's nice to be the best, but...

It's nice to be the best, but not when being the best brings out the worst in you.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

And my girlfriend, she's FAT!...

And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

When we got married my wife t...

When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I once met a beautiful, prope...

I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I was an ugly child. I got lo...

I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I once went out with this wil...

I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

I tell ya, my wife, we get al...

I tell ya, my wife, we get along good cause we have our own arrangement. I mean, one night a week I go out with the boys and one night a week, she goes out with the boys.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Boy is my wife stupid. It tak...

Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

One day as I came home early,...

One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

She was so fat that her belly...

She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.

Rodney Dangerfield 423 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

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Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

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Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....