The song of canaries
Neve...

The song of canaries
Never varies,
And when they're moulting
They're pretty revolting.

Middle-aged life is merry, and...

Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to lead it.

Love is a word that is constan...

Love is a word that is constantly heard,
Hate is a word that is not.
Love, I am told, is more precious than gold.
Love, I have read, is hot.
But hate is the verb that to me is superb,
And Love but a drug on the mart.
Any kiddie in school can love like a fool,
But Hating, my boy, is an Art.

The dog is man's best friend. ...

The dog is man's best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath.

Smallpox is natural; vaccine a...

Smallpox is natural; vaccine ain't.

The Preacher, the Politicain, ...

The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher,
Were each of them once a kiddie.
A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature.
Do I want one? God Forbiddie!

When there are monsters there ...

When there are monsters there are miracles.

The oboe's a horn made of wood...

The oboe's a horn made of wood.
I'd play you a tune if I could,
But the reeds are a pain,
And the fingering's insane.
It's the ill wind that no one blows good.

The truth I do not stretch or ...

The truth I do not stretch or shove
When I state the dog is full of love.
I've also proved, by actual test,
A wet dog is the lovingest.

I hope my tongue in prune juic...

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

No man is greater than his res...

No man is greater than his respect for sleep.

I am a conscientious man, when...

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.

In the world of mules there ar...

In the world of mules there are no rules.

Shake and shake The catsup bot...

Shake and shake The catsup bottle. None will come, And then a lot'll.

There is something about a mar...

There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.

How easy for those who do not ...

How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!

The doctor gets you when you'r...

The doctor gets you when you're born, The preacher, when you marry, And the lawyer lurks with costly clerks If too much on you carry. Professional men, they have no cares; Whatever happens, they get theirs.

The noblest lord is ushered in...

The noblest lord is ushered in By the practicing physician, And the humblest lout is ushered out By a certified mortician. And in between, they find their foyers Alive with summonses from lawyers.

Abracadabra, thus we learn

Abracadabra, thus we learn
The more you create, the less you earn.
The less you earn, the more you're given,
The less you lead, the more you're driven,
The more destroyed, the more they feed,
The more you pay, the more they need,
The more you earn, the less you keep,
And now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to take
If the tax-collector hasn't got it before I wake.

Ogden Nash 03.03.2018 03:03:03 224 quotes

The cow is of the bovine ilk: ...

The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.