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Bill Gates has 90 billion doll...

Bill Gates has 90 billion dollars ... If I had 90 billion dollars, I wouldn't have it for long because I would just dream of all the crazy stuff I could do with it. This guy, 90 billion dollars. He could buy every baseball team and make them all wear dresses and still have 88 billion dollars.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

There's nowhere I won't go. As...

There's nowhere I won't go. As long as it's horribly, horribly true and/or wrong.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

You have to be aware of who yo...

You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Maybe God is an asshole...of c...

Maybe God is an asshole...of course not, he's not an asshole, he's imaginary.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

You can do eight things. We go...

You can do eight things. We got it down to eight for you.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Don't text or Twitter during t...

Don't text or Twitter during the show. Just live your life. Don't keep telling people what you're doing also it lights up your big dumb face.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I know I'm getting old because...

I know I'm getting old because there will be times when I'm not even doing anything and I'll think, 'I need to go wipe my ass right now.'

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Give a man a fish and you feed...

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Sometimes I try to take a nap ...

Sometimes I try to take a nap before shows. That clears my head.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

That's a good question. I don'...

That's a good question. I don't really remember what it was like before. Whatever I had going on, it was bullshit. It wasn't important. It's kind of a nice thing about being a dad. My identity is really about them now, and what I can do for them, so it sort of takes the pressure off of your own life. What am I going to do, who am I? Who cares, you've got to get your kids to school. So I like it that way.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Comedians and Feminists are na...

Comedians and Feminists are natural enemies. Because stereotypically speaking, feminists can't take a joke and comedians can't take criticism.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

When I see two guys kissing, I...

When I see two guys kissing, I'm like, how come I can't kiss one of those guys? They look like they're having a good time.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I just always loved comedy and...

I just always loved comedy and I really wanted to be good at it. And it was heartbreaking, 'cause I started and I wasn't good at it. I was only 17-years-old, so I had a lot to learn about life in general. But I just kept on trying. I was young enough and stupid enough and I had no other choice. I had nothing else I was good at.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

In 27 years doing this, I've s...

In 27 years doing this, I've seen a handful of truly great, masterful standup sets. One was Tig Notaro last night at Largo.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I was driving in Manhattan. Th...

I was driving in Manhattan. There's traffic, nobody's moving... The guy behind me is honking just at me. He kept yelling at me. I decided that I'm gonna argue with this guy, but I'm gonna argue about something else. I'm not having his argument; I'm having mine. So, he's like, 'Go!' And I go, 'Well give me back my jacket!' And he stopped. I was like, 'Yeah, you got my jacket! Give it back! I said you could borrow it, not have it! You're stretching it out, you fat pig! Give it back, now!' He got back in his car, and he l

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

My bank is the worst. They are...

My bank is the worst. They are screwing me. You know what they did to me? They're charging me money for not having enough money. Apparently, when you're broke, that costs money.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

What we've done with our moder...

What we've done with our modern food supply is absolute insanity. It's not even real any more. You used to be able to give a kid an apple and they would love it. Kids can't even taste apples any more. Apples taste like paper to kids now.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I don't care about the weight....

I don't care about the weight. You know, I'm lucky; I'm one of those people - I can eat donuts, whatever, and I just get fat.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I like being full, every day, ...

I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

You could drive a rental car u...

You could drive a rental car until you don't want it. Just get out of it while it's moving and just walk away. No, I don't feel like being in that car any longer. Just call Hertz. Hi, your car is drifting into the intersection of 28th and Broadway, if you're interested. It's now your problem.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....