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My kids used to love math. Now...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Everything is amazing and nobo...

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

You need to build an ability t...

You need to build an ability to just be yourself, and not be doing something,

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I look around, pretty much 100...

I look around, pretty much 100% of the people driving are texting. And they're killing, everybody's murdering each other with their cars. But people are willing to risk taking a life and ruining their own because they don't want to be alone for a second because it's so hard.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Here's how my brain works: It'...

Here's how my brain works: It's stupidity, followed by self-hatred, and then further analysis.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

When you have bacon in your mo...

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

There's no way you ask Sean Pe...

There's no way you ask Sean Penn a question and then, you're gonna be HUGE !

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I have a lot of beliefs, and I...

I have a lot of beliefs, and I live by none of them - that's just the way I am they make me feel good about who I am.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Race doesn't mean what it used...

Race doesn't mean what it used to in America anymore. It just doesn't. Obama's black, but he's not black the way people used to define that. Is black your experience or the color of your skin? My experience is as a Mexican immigrant, more so than someone like George Lopez. He's from California. But he'll be treated as an immigrant. I am an outsider. My abuelita, my grandmother, didn't speak English. My whole family on my dad's side is in Mexico. I won't ever be called that or treated that way, but it was my experience.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I find that when people laugh ...

I find that when people laugh really hard, it's usually because they're connecting and identifying in a way that they hadn't considered. That's my payoff.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

The only road to good shows is...

The only road to good shows is bad ones. Just go start having a bad time, and if you don't give up, you will get better.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I grew up in a generation that...

I grew up in a generation that had exponential technological advances.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Some people think it's demeani...

Some people think it's demeaning to victims if you ever say anything out-loud about sexual abuse of children. I don't know if that's true.

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

If I found myself alone on pla...

If I found myself alone on planet Earth, no other humans, I would have sex with a monkey in like two minutes. Two minutes. That's really not long enough to be sure you're alone on the Earth, even. That's like... I walk outside, it's- there's not much traffic. 'Oh, my God, it's just me! I'm gonna have sex with a monkey right now. Oh, no-there's a person.'

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

People are too afraid of uptow...

People are too afraid of uptown. A lot of people will tell you, like, 'Don't go to Harlem. You can never go there. 'Cause as soon as you get there, they kill you.' That's what people think. As soon as you arrive in Harlem, someone just stabs you in the face right away. That's people's image of Harlem: just everyone standing around waiting for lost white people to kill all day. 'Did you see any? I didn't either.'

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

One time I was at a swimming p...

One time I was at a swimming pool with my kids, a public pool. I had my daughter, my six year old, on my arm like this. She was like clamped on, and she's kicking. ... And then she got off and another random child just clamped on. It's like a rat. 'Get off of me.' 'But I love you.' 'I don't know you, kid.'

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

I love being married. It's gre...

I love being married. It's great. But I hate arguing. I hate fighting. You know what I do now? When we get in an argument, I just take her side against me. It's just easier; it goes quicker. She's like, 'What's wrong with you?' And I'm like, 'I know! Damn it! Argh!'

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

You ever go to shop for tuna, ...

You ever go to shop for tuna, and it says 'dolphin safe', and you look at it and kind of go, 'Yeah, but'-like somehow you think it's not going to be as good? Like, 'I want to do the right thing-but it's probably kind of bland without the dolphin.'

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Why can't we have racism that'...

Why can't we have racism that's ignorant but nice? You could have stereotypes that are positive about race. You could say, 'Those Chinese people, they can fly!' 'You know about the Puerto Ricans? They're made of candy!'

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

For years, Blockbuster Video h...

For years, Blockbuster Video has edited movies. Like The Bad Lieutenant, when he's masturbating while the girls in the car are doing the thing. I rented it from Blockbuster and sped to that scene, and it was gone. I called up Blockbuster, and I'm like, 'I got an erection, and the scene's not there.'

Louis C.K. 341 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....