I kind of feel a bit insecure...
I kind of feel a bit insecure about things. At fashion parties, I do feel like people are kind of watching me and I get so shy, and I think, Oh, if only I could have a drink now. But then that feeling disappears - it actually disappears pretty quickly. I remember how happy I am that I don't drink anymore. I think about all the bad times I had when I was drunk. I messed up so many things. I don't want to do that anymore.
We've worked together with Ca...
We've worked together with Carine Roitfeld a lot; she's been a big supporter and helped me along with everything. Also, just the way she does her magazine - she's not afraid to do things differently or scared to put certain things in her magazine, a bit of controversy. She's a bit naughty. She likes sexy things.
We're shooting bathing suits ...
We're shooting bathing suits down here in St. Barts of course, I do get extra self-conscious. But I'm still here. If there were really something wrong with me, then they wouldn't fly me over here to do this kind of thing - and they can use Photoshop and make me look nice.
I was pretty self-conscious a...
I was pretty self-conscious about my body because everybody kept going on like, "Oh, she's so curvy!" and "She's a plus-size model!" and this and that. It's all people would talk about - how I'm not very skinny. For a while, it made me pretty upset and I got a bit obsessive about it. I did a bunch of dieting and exercising and everything. I was losing weight, but I was still much bigger than everybody else. I didn't really see the point of making myself crazy anymore, so I kind of toned it down a little bit.
The drinking was getting way ...
The drinking was getting way out of control. I just didn't recognize myself anymore. I didn't know what I was doing or where I was. I always had to have some drinks with me in my bag. Just waking up shaking and then having Bloody Marys on your own, first thing in the morning-I started to feel really pathetic about it. So I was like, "I can't live like this." It was just this really awful feeling of becoming a totally different person and not being able to control it at all. Then I tried to not drink, but that didn't work. So I figured I should just go to rehab.
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