The drinking was getting way ...
The drinking was getting way out of control. I just didn't recognize myself anymore. I didn't know what I was doing or where I was. I always had to have some drinks with me in my bag. Just waking up shaking and then having Bloody Marys on your own, first thing in the morning-I started to feel really pathetic about it. So I was like, "I can't live like this." It was just this really awful feeling of becoming a totally different person and not being able to control it at all. Then I tried to not drink, but that didn't work. So I figured I should just go to rehab.
I was pretty self-conscious a...
I was pretty self-conscious about my body because everybody kept going on like, "Oh, she's so curvy!" and "She's a plus-size model!" and this and that. It's all people would talk about - how I'm not very skinny. For a while, it made me pretty upset and I got a bit obsessive about it. I did a bunch of dieting and exercising and everything. I was losing weight, but I was still much bigger than everybody else. I didn't really see the point of making myself crazy anymore, so I kind of toned it down a little bit.
We're shooting bathing suits ...
We're shooting bathing suits down here in St. Barts of course, I do get extra self-conscious. But I'm still here. If there were really something wrong with me, then they wouldn't fly me over here to do this kind of thing - and they can use Photoshop and make me look nice.
We've worked together with Ca...
We've worked together with Carine Roitfeld a lot; she's been a big supporter and helped me along with everything. Also, just the way she does her magazine - she's not afraid to do things differently or scared to put certain things in her magazine, a bit of controversy. She's a bit naughty. She likes sexy things.
I kind of feel a bit insecure...
I kind of feel a bit insecure about things. At fashion parties, I do feel like people are kind of watching me and I get so shy, and I think, Oh, if only I could have a drink now. But then that feeling disappears - it actually disappears pretty quickly. I remember how happy I am that I don't drink anymore. I think about all the bad times I had when I was drunk. I messed up so many things. I don't want to do that anymore.
I think I do become someone e...
I think I do become someone else. In real life, I’m very shy, but people think I’m this angry, sexy kind of... god knows what they think! And there I am in front of them, nervous and blushing and stuttering and whatnot. So I’m definitely not the person you see in pictures. I mean, in pictures, you look like something you’re not.
We were talking about that ac...
We were talking about that actually - so many of the girls now, you don't really know any of them anymore. Me and Sasha Pivovarova were talking about it, about doing shows, and how we only know each other and a few other girls. Everyone gets replaced rather quickly in modeling.
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