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Recently my girlfriend asked ...

Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

I've got a friend whose nickn...

I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it.

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

Put Smarties tubes on cats le...

Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

In Pizza Express you can get ...

In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a pizza.

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

When you eat a lot of spicy f...

When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

Once I was doing a sponsored ...

Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

I used to buy lottery tickets...

I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

When I was a kid I had an im...

When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

Saying that you don't believe...

Saying that you don't believe in magic but do believe in god is a bit like saying you don't have sex with dogs, except labradors.

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

A big girl once came up to me...

A big girl once came up to me after a show and said "I think you're fatist." I said "No, no. I think you're fattest."

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

I think they got it wrong wit...

I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

I think being successful in c...

I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

I'm not being condescending, ...

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

My favourite road sign is 'Fa...

My favourite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky."

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

My girlfriend bought a cook b...

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

Ten years after the Chernobyl...

Ten years after the Chernobyl accident, and am I the only one that's disappointed? Still no superheros.

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

My mum told me the best time ...

My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying "Can I have a new bike?". He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

My dad's dying wish was to ha...

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

I was out with a friend and h...

I was out with a friend and he came over with a pair of girls. I said to him "They're like buses." He said "What? Because you wait for ages and then two come along at once." I said "No, they are like buses!"

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

Like most of the world's popu...

Like most of the world's population I'm into coffee, my perfect weekend would start with a pint of coffee.

Jimmy Carr 82 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....