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Whenever you go out to eat yo...

Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. 'Cause the appetizer's just an excuse for an extra meal. You're always like "Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings...and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? 'Cause I don't wanna fill up too much."

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I love standup comedians. I r...

I love standup comedians. I really do.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

The question is the primary f...

The question is the primary form of communication for little kids.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Even when you hear about a co...

Even when you hear about a comedian getting married, among comedians, we're always kind of like, what are they doing?

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I always seem to be chosen to...

I always seem to be chosen to do very flattering things like the beard comb over or go to the bathroom with the door open on Sex and the City or be the guy people meow at in Super Troopers. It's great for self esteem.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Ironically, to my children, b...

Ironically, to my children, bedtime is a punishment that violates their basic rights as human beings.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

My children have made me a be...

My children have made me a better man, which is - in the end, that's probably more important than two more comedy specials or being in better shape.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Deep frying a Twinkie makes i...

Deep frying a Twinkie makes it healthy, right?

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I love sleep. I need sleep. W...

I love sleep. I need sleep. We all do, of course. There are those people that don't need sleep. I think they're called 'successful.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I'm a weirdo that goes on sta...

I'm a weirdo that goes on stage to make strangers laugh, but if I wasn't working, I would just want to be with my wife and kids. I don't even think I'd want to go out to dinner.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

We all take Mother's Day seri...

We all take Mother's Day seriously and then it's like a month later, a bunch of kids get together and say, "I guess we should do this for the old man, too." Father Day's is weird. It's like celebrating Darth Vader's birthday. It's odd I think. Even the gifts we give dads. Like neckties, which are just like a silk noose. Or books. Would you ever want someone from another generation to give you a book?

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I feel like, even in this cra...

I feel like, even in this crazy world of Trump getting elected and these things that really kind of caught me off-guard, I feel like I understand less than I did.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I live in New York City, but ...

I live in New York City, but it doesn't matter if you're in any large, metropolitan area, there's kind of a little bit of survival-of-the-fittest, so when you encounter kindness or people going out of their way in an empathetic way, it's almost startling.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Some people that work for Hot...

Some people that work for Hot Pockets came to my Denver Paramount Theater show. They brought these hot pocket boxes the size of suit cases for me to sign. I wrote "these are WMD's" on the boxes. The HP people seem to have a good sense of humor about all of it.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I've been doing theaters like...

I've been doing theaters like the Warner for about a year and we've found the earlier you get the tickets on sale the better idea you get on how many shows we will be doing.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

You can never find the right ...

You can never find the right bowling ball. This one's too heavy. This one's good but its pink!

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I've stayed in so many hotel ...

I've stayed in so many hotel rooms that I'm shocked if, when I stay in a hotel room, the hotel phone isn't on the desk. Then I'm like, "This isn't a real hotel room." If there's not outlets next to the desk, or if they have an iPhone adapter for an iPhone 4, that's when I'm sitting there annoyed. I understand that it's ridiculous, but that's just me spending way too much time in hotels.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Award shows are really silly....

Award shows are really silly. I'm very happy for the people that win the awards, and I can say they're really silly, but I would love to get one. So I also know wasting time on that is pointless.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I don't curse on stage, but I...

I don't curse on stage, but I feel like I curse more because I have kids and in front of my kids. Not intentionally.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I lived across from a Catholi...

I lived across from a Catholic church for 15 years that I never went into. And then I got married to my wife and - you know, and now we're going in there every other day baptizing a kid.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

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Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....