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I reached a point in my life ...

I reached a point in my life where I didn't really like who I was.I was married to an amazing woman. I had children, and yet there was frustration.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Screaming. Did I mention the ...

Screaming. Did I mention the screaming? Screaming is usually associated with horror films and roller coasters. This is why I usually look like I've just watched a horror film on a rollercoaster. Kids love to scream. Frightened, happy, bored. They scream. I've actually learned to love the sound of a vacuum cleaner. It's just so peaceful.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Wouldn't it have been weird t...

Wouldn't it have been weird to go to high school with the Pope? You know, somebody did, someone's sitting at home, watching TV in Poland, they see the Pope, they think, "That guy was a jerk! He was so mean to me and now he's Pope? I got a swirly from the Pope!"

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Boutique hotels are great, bu...

Boutique hotels are great, but they get too cute. Some hotels have shoe polish. It's like, come on, this isn't 1960. No one's polishing their shoes.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I kinda expected to turn the ...

I kinda expected to turn the bottle and see a recipe. "So that's how you make ice cubes. Apparently you just freeze this stuff. Oh, but you need a tray. That's how they trick you into it."

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

If only opening a Vitamin Wat...

If only opening a Vitamin Water could be classified as working out.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I always had this romantic no...

I always had this romantic notion of living in New York. I just felt like, everyone could be different and weird and whatever they are in New York.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Comedians rarely have writers...

Comedians rarely have writers, and if you do it's usually a sign of laziness.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

The reason I say I'm a horrib...

The reason I say I'm a horrible person is I don't want myself to be presented as somebody who's a great Catholic.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I grew up in a Catholic famil...

I grew up in a Catholic family in the Midwest. And I knew people of different faiths and people that were atheists and people that were agnostic.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Thanksgiving is the most comp...

Thanksgiving is the most complicated meal you can think of. Every night, dinner is just pasta. It's just different shapes of pasta.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I grew up 45 minutes outside ...

I grew up 45 minutes outside of Chicago.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

That's why when I send a post...

That's why when I send a postcard I quiz people. "Hey, did you get that postcard?" "Yeah, yeah yeah." "Well what'd I say?" "Uh, you were havin-" "I was in jail"

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Ireland is a place that's bea...

Ireland is a place that's beautiful and interesting, but I remember when I went there as a teenager with my parents, I was like, "Okay, I'll go to Ireland with my parents. It's going to be green." I think people underestimate it, in that it's, "Oh, it's green," and then you get there, and it's like, "Wow, it is green!" It's, "Oh, there's Irish music," and then you get there, and you're like, "Oh, this Irish music is amazing!" You underestimate it.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Whatever a writer gets paid f...

Whatever a writer gets paid for his book, it's never enough. I think that's true. It's hard work. But in the end, you wrote a book. It's something real and tangible that sits on a shelf forever.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I'm the youngest, too. When y...

I'm the youngest, too. When you're the youngest of a big family, people are like, "You're the baby, you're spoiled!" The fact of the matter is, when you're the youngest of a big family, by the time you're a teenager, your parents are insane. You're like, "Hey, I'm going roller-skating-" "You're not going roller-skating or you'll end up pregnant like your sister. Why don't you smoke pot and become a lawyer?"

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

The idea of being a practicin...

The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know what I mean?

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Some of my fear and anxieties...

Some of my fear and anxieties surrounding faith, I think, provides some good comedy for my act.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

For a comedian to kind of cat...

For a comedian to kind of catch onto something right as something's catching on in our culture, a lot of it is luck, and you hope the joke is funny.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I am a guy who talks about ba...

I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy is very much a conversation. It's very personal, stylistically.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

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Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....