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I think the answer is we all n...

I think the answer is we all need a little help, and the coffee's a little help with everything Ђ' social, energy, don't know what to do next, don't know how to start my day, don't know how to get through this afternoon, don't know how to stay alert. We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

So let me get this straight. Y...

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen, you see an eclair in the receptacle, and you think to yourself, 'What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.'

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

If every instinct you have is ...

If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

People on dates shouldn't even...

People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

Women go after doctors like me...

Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

Any day you had gym class was ...

Any day you had gym class was a weird school day. It started off normal. You had English, Social Studies, Geometry, then suddenly your in Lord of the Flies for 40 minutes. Your hanging from a rope, you have hardly any clothes on, teachers are yelling at you, kids are throwing dodge balls at you and snapping towels - you're trying to survive. And then it's Science,Language, and History. Now that is a weird day.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

What causes homophobia? What i...

What causes homophobia? What is it that makes the heterosexual man worry about this? I think it's because deep down all men know that we have weak sales resistance. We're constantly buying shoes that hurt us, pants that don't fit right. Men think, 'Obviously I can be talked into anything. What if I accidentally wander into some sort of homosexual store thinking it's a shoe store and the salesmen says, 'Just hold this guy's hand, walk around a little bit, see how it feels. No obligation, no pressure, just try it.'

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

To me, a lawyer is basically t...

To me, a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there is a problem the lawyer is the only person who has read the inside of the top of the box.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

And I'll tell ya, I'm really e...

And I'll tell ya, I'm really enjoying this marriage thing. You think about each other. You care about each other. It's wonderful! Plus, I love saying 'my wife.' Once I started saying it, I couldn't stop - 'my wife' this, 'my wife' that...it's an amazing way to begin a sentence.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

Golf is the ultimate avoidance...

Golf is the ultimate avoidance activity for the dysfunctional dad. A game so nonsensically difficult, so pointless, so irrationally time consuming, the word golf itself can only stand for 'Get Out, Leave Family.'

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

One day I was watching these c...

One day I was watching these construction workers go back to work. I was watching them kind of trudging down the street. It was like a revelation to me. I realized these guys don't want to go back to work after lunch. But they're going. That's their job. If they can exhibit that level of dedication for that job I should be able to do the same. Trudge your ass in.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

In my world, the wronger somet...

In my world, the wronger something feels, the righter it is,

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

If aliens are watching us thro...

If aliens are watching us through telescopes, they're going to think the dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

We want to do a lot of stuff; ...

We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

I love how you just make coffe...

I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

I have no plants in my house. ...

I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

It's like having... you know, ...

It's like having... you know, your phone has a charger, right? It's like having a charger for your whole body and mind. That's what Transcendental Meditation is!

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

I love the day date. No wine, ...

I love the day date. No wine, no shower.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

Maybe if we lie down our brain...

Maybe if we lie down our brains will work.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

The Swiss have an interesting ...

The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in the back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off, I've got the toe clippers right here.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

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Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

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Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

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Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

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Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....