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Then, finally, the third year...

Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band on the back of that mask? That was a quality item there, wasn't it? That was good for about 10 seconds before it snapped out of that cheap little staple they put it in there with.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

Sometimes I think more creati...

Sometimes I think more creativity is put into muffin recipes than into the rest of society combined.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

Writer's block is a phony, ma...

Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

Cremation has become the most...

Cremation has become the most popular form of burial in the United States... People used to want a big, thick granite stone, their names carved into with a chisel. I was here dammit! Cremation is like you're trying to cover up a crime. Burn the body. Scatter the ashes around. As far as anyone's concerned this whole thing never happened.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

This is one of my big things ...

This is one of my big things of creative pursuits. You have your idea you want to do, but then you got to figure out what does this thing want to be? You got to let it lead you a little.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

Fatherhood makes you cute. Wo...

Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

My wife is funny. And I dabbl...

My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

Nothing in life is fun for th...

Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

So the first time you hear th...

So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you're a kid your brain can't even process the information. You're like: "What is this? What did you say?" "What did you say about giving out candy? Who's giving out candy?" "Everyone that we know is just giving out candy!"

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

What's with this weird hotel ...

What's with this weird hotel custom of leaving a piece of chocolate on the pillow? I awoke thinking my brain had hemorrhaged some sort of fecal matter.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

The truth is, the family is m...

The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you're playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you're single, you're just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

The peak of being a fan is a ...

The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

I always did well on the essa...

I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you'll hit it.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

One day I was watching these ...

One day I was watching these construction workers go back to work. I was watching them kind of trudging down the street. It was like a revelation to me. I realized these guys don’t want to go back to work after lunch. But they’re going. That’s their job. If they can exhibit that level of dedication for that job I should be able to do the same. Trudge your ass in.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

Well, sometimes we do actuall...

Well, sometimes we do actually have to get up early, but a man will always trade sleep for sex.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

Have you ever noticed that th...

Have you ever noticed that the waiter who takes your order is not the one who brings your food anymore? What is THAT about? And which waiter are you tipping, anyway? I think next time I go to a restaurant I'll just say, "Oh, sorry, I only eat the food. The guy who pays the bill will be along shortly."

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

The blessing in life is when ...

The blessing in life is when you find the torture you are comfortable with. That's marriage, it's kids, it's work, it's exercise. Find the torture you're comfortable with and you'll do well. You've mastered that, you've mastered life.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

I do not know why anyone woul...

I do not know why anyone would host an awards show. No matter how unbelievably well you do at it, the only thing that can happen is you get asked again to host an awards show.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

Pay attention; don't let life...

Pay attention; don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

Well, birthdays are merely sy...

Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.

Jerry Seinfeld 313 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

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Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

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Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

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Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

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Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....