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I came home, the car was in t...

I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

A woman says to a man, "I hav...

A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!"

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

Those bellhops in Miami are t...

Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the bellboy made fifty-two trips to my room.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

Where did you get your haircu...

Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

Anybody who thinks talk is ch...

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

A car hit a Jewish man. The p...

A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

I was walking down the street...

I was walking down the street, and I found a man's hand in my pocket. I asked, "What do you want?" "A match" "Why didn't you ask me?" "I don't talk to strangers."

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

My room is so small, the mice...

My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

My wife drives the wrong way ...

My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!"

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

She ran after the garbage tru...

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

His motto is "Love Thy Neighb...

His motto is "Love Thy Neighbor". His neighbor is an 18 year old hooker.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

The hitter asks the owner to ...

The hitter asks the owner to give him a big raise so he can go somewhere he's never been, and the owner says "You mean third base?"

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

A priest is sent to Alaska. A...

A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks, How do you like it up here? The priest says, If it wasn't for my Rosary, and 2 martinis a day, I'd be lost. Bishop, would you like a martini? Yes. Rosary, get the bishop a martini!

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

We aim to please... You aim t...

We aim to please... You aim too, please.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

I had a nightmare last night....

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

2 Guys in a health club, one ...

2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

A Polish man bought a zebra f...

A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

A little man is running a jew...

A little man is running a jewelry store. A man runs in saying, Okay, take my watch, put on a new band, install a new battery, clean the case, install a new crystal, and tune it up. I will be back in a half hour for it. Thanks! and runs out the door. The little jeweler says, C-C-C-Come in?

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

Doctor says to a man, "You're...

Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner...."

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

A woman was taking a shower. ...

A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....