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A Polish man had his vasectom...

A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

I have a lovely room and bath...

I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

Most marriage failures are ca...

Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

I don't mind when my horse is...

I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, "Which way do I go?" But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

Hollywood called me, asking m...

Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I said, "I'll pay it!"

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

Two kangaroos were talking to...

Two kangaroos were talking to each other, and one said, 'I hope it doesn't rain today. I hate it when the children play inside.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

My horse's jockey was hitting...

My horse's jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says "Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!"

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

Where did you get your haircu...

Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

Those bellhops in Miami are t...

Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the bellboy made fifty-two trips to my room.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

A woman says to a man, "I hav...

A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!"

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

I came home, the car was in t...

I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

I just made a killing in the ...

I just made a killing in the stock market -- I shot my broker.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

I was just in London - there ...

I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

My wife lost all her credit c...

My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does!

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

College: A fountain of knowle...

College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

I've got enough money to last...

I've got enough money to last the rest of my life ... as long as I die about four o'clock this afternoon.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

My wife and I went back to th...

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

A man is at the bar, drunk. I...

A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

Americans are getting stronge...

Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

When a man opens a car door f...

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....