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If we only listened with the s...

If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

Intimate relationships cannot ...

Intimate relationships cannot substitute for a life plan. But to have any meaning or viability at all, a life plan must include intimate relationships.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

Whole-hearted listening is the...

Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

Women ... have long been disco...

Women ... have long been discouraged from the awareness and forthright expression of anger. Sugar and spice are the ingredients from which we are made. We are the nurturers, the soothers, the peacemakers, and the steadiers of rocked boats.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

While women once acquired rela...

While women once acquired relationship skills to 'hook,' 'snare,' or 'catch' a husband who would provide access to economic security and social status, the position of contemporary women has not changed that radically. Much of our success still depends on our attunement to 'male culture,' our ability to please men, and our readiness to conform to the masculine values of our institutions.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

Through words we come to know ...

Through words we come to know the other person--and to be known. This knowing is at the heart of our deepest longings for intimacy and connection with others. How relationships unfold with the most important people in our lives depends on courage and clarity in finding voice.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

Fear has never helped anybody ...

Fear has never helped anybody make good choices. It leads to clinging when we should be walking.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

Nothing you say can ensure tha...

Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold of deafness.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

Anger is neither legitimate no...

Anger is neither legitimate nor illegitimate, meaningful nor pointless. Anger simply is. To ask, 'Is my anger legitimate?' is similar to asking, 'Do I have the right to be thirsty? After all, I just had a glass of water fifteen minutes ago. Surely my thirst is not legitimate. And besides, what's the point of getting thirsty when I can't get anything to drink now, anyway?' Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel--and cert

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

Don't count on the power of yo...

Don't count on the power of your love or your nagging to create something that wasn't there to begin with.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

Whatever your sex fantasy is w...

Whatever your sex fantasy is with your partner, consider it normal.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

Your children are not little m...

Your children are not little mirrors reflecting back the good or bad job you've done.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

No book or expert can protect ...

No book or expert can protect us from the range of painful emotions that make us human.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

The rush of sexual attraction ...

The rush of sexual attraction can act like a drug and blur our capacity for clear thinking. This can lead us to distance ourselves from our friends or even abandon our life plan for someone who couldn't otherwise be relied on to water our plants and feed our cat.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

Wherever you find a wife and m...

Wherever you find a wife and mother-in-law slugging it out, you'll find a son who's not speaking up to either his mother or his wife.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

If you exchanged wedding vows,...

If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every morning along with the ritual brushing of teeth. It's not realistic to believe that you will live your promises as a daily practice -- unless you're a saint or a highly evolved Zen Buddhist. Not where marriage is concerned. But you can make a practice of returning to your vows when the going gets rough.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

Relationships are most likely ...

Relationships are most likely to fail when we don't address problems or hold our partner accountable for unfair or irresponsible behavior ... the ability to clarify our values, beliefs, and life goals--and then to keep our behavior congruent with them--is at the heart of a solid marriage.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

If you want a recipe for relat...

If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

I'm a good example of wanting ...

I'm a good example of wanting to apologize only for my precise share of a problem--as I calculate it, of course--and I expect my husband Steve to apologize for his share, also as I calculate it. Since we're not always of one mind on the math, it can lead to the theater of the absurd.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

We're vulnerable to repeating ...

We're vulnerable to repeating history, especially if we don't know what's driving us. For example, it may be a family tradition to marry someone with addiction problems, or who is an injured bird in need of caretaking. Or, you may be drawn to guys who remind you of your distant, unavailable father -- or your ill-tempered mother -- with the unconscious belief that you can take an old story, and through the power of your love, give it a new, happy ending.

Harriet Lerner 87 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....