Skip to main content

I call him Governor Bush beca...

I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be "Governor Bush." I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.

George Carlin 952 quotes

One of the effects it [cocain...

One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.

George Carlin 952 quotes

Marry an orphan: you'll never...

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

George Carlin 952 quotes

Instead of thinking about the...

Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.

George Carlin 952 quotes

I think tobacco and alcohol w...

I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'

George Carlin 952 quotes

The phrase surgical strike mi...

The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.

George Carlin 952 quotes

My history of moving away fro...

My history of moving away from drugs is not the kind you hear from most people. Certainly not from celebrities, especially those professionally recovering people. What I've noticed in my overuse of cocaine is the period of pleasure versus the period of pain. That is to say that when you first get high on anything, the pleasure is predominant and you don't pay much price. A little hangover or whatever it might be with another drug. But after a while the ratio begins to change, and there' s far more pain in the deal than pleasure. It just completely goes in another direction.

George Carlin 952 quotes

I think we overrate ourselves...

I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.

George Carlin 952 quotes

Save the trees, save the bees...

Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.

George Carlin 952 quotes

I never joined the Boy Scouts...

I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.

George Carlin 952 quotes

Although the photographer and...

Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other's picture.

George Carlin 952 quotes

Sometimes a fireman will go t...

Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.

George Carlin 952 quotes

When he got loaded, the human...

When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.

George Carlin 952 quotes

I find that an entertainer is...

I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.

George Carlin 952 quotes

One philosopher has rightly s...

One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.

George Carlin 952 quotes

I'm not in show business beca...

I'm not in show business because I don't have to go to the meetings, I'm just not a part of it, I don't belong to it. When you "belong" to something. You want to think about that word, "belong." People should think about that: it means they own you. If you belong to something it owns you, and I just don't care for that. I like spinning out here like one of those subatomic particles that they can't quite pin down.

George Carlin 952 quotes

For a long time, I've disting...

For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.

George Carlin 952 quotes

It ended suddenly for Brenda,...

It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day, or only a few hours, instead of four or five days. And I began to want to stop. One of the proudest moments of my life was at a rock-'n'-roll theater in New Jersey. A guy actually put some coke under my nose and I was able to say, "No, thanks," and turn my head away.

George Carlin 952 quotes

Know my feelings about traffi...

Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.

George Carlin 952 quotes

You get into your teens, now ...

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

George Carlin 952 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....