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You know what I hate? Indian ...

You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.

Emo Philips 240 quotes

At my lemonade stand I used t...

At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.

Emo Philips 240 quotes

I once heard two ladies going...

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

Emo Philips 240 quotes

I was sleeping the other nigh...

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.

Emo Philips 240 quotes

You don't appreciate a lot of...

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

Emo Philips 240 quotes

You know, at parties, people ...

You know, at parties, people always ask, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi!

Emo Philips 240 quotes

Some mornings, it's just not ...

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

Emo Philips 240 quotes

Probably the worst time in a ...

Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day.

Emo Philips 240 quotes

When I wake up in the morning...

When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas.

Emo Philips 240 quotes

My classmates would copulate ...

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

Emo Philips 240 quotes

I was at a bar nursing a beer...

I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.

Emo Philips 240 quotes

Well, my brother says Hello. ...

Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy.

Emo Philips 240 quotes

The way I understand it, the ...

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

Emo Philips 240 quotes

I got in a fight one time wit...

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going to mop the floor with your face.' I said, 'You'll be sorry.' He said, 'Oh, yeah? Why?' I said, 'Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.'

Emo Philips 240 quotes

People always ask me, 'Where ...

People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi.

Emo Philips 240 quotes

So I'm at the wailing wall, s...

So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.

Emo Philips 240 quotes

I used to think that the brai...

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.

Emo Philips 240 quotes

I was walking down the street...

I was walking down the street the other day and these construction workers were working on the roof hammering away. One of them told me I was a paranoid lunatic... in morse code.

Emo Philips 240 quotes

The battle of the sexes will ...

The battle of the sexes will never be won as long as we keep sleeping with the enemy.

Emo Philips 240 quotes

A Mormon told me that they do...

A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ..."

Emo Philips 240 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

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Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

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Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....