Skip to main content

Because Utah is largely Mormo...

Because Utah is largely Mormon country, the firing squad's a little different. You're blindfolded but no cigarette.

David Letterman 644 quotes

You all know Newt Gingrich. N...

You all know Newt Gingrich. Newt is short for Newton. People say if that's the case, what is Mitt short for? It's short for 'Mittens.'

David Letterman 644 quotes

I'll be 50 years old tomorrow...

I'll be 50 years old tomorrow and that means, among other things, that now Bob Dole can start telling jokes about me.

David Letterman 644 quotes

You know who's also joining t...

You know who's also joining the Wall Street protesters? Kanye West. That's a real good idea -- a guy with diamonds in his teeth protesting greed.

David Letterman 644 quotes

Today is Veterans Day. Thank ...

Today is Veterans Day. Thank you to all our men and women who have served the United States armed forces. In honor of Veterans Day we are marching out a few jokes that have already served.

David Letterman 644 quotes

You probably heard about the ...

You probably heard about the big prisoner swap with Cuba. A man who has been incarcerated in Havana for five years is back home in the United States. And we sent them some prisoners. The deal still has to be approved by President Obama and Bud Selig.

David Letterman 644 quotes

The Democrats were crushed in...

The Democrats were crushed in the midterm elections. The Republican juggernaut pounded the Democrats, and the pundits say they will not really know what happened to the Democrats until they find the black box.

David Letterman 644 quotes

Meryl Streep is on the progra...

Meryl Streep is on the program tonight. I like to throw her a little work whenever I can.

David Letterman 644 quotes

Congratulations to Ohio State...

Congratulations to Ohio State, your new college football champions. Coach Urban Meyer may be the greatest football coach of all time. Don't confuse him with New York Mayor Bill de Blasio. That's urban quagmire.

David Letterman 644 quotes

President Obama has two years...

President Obama has two years left as president. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets to appoint two new Kardashian husbands.

David Letterman 644 quotes

Incredible experience, watchi...

Incredible experience, watching a baby birth on the internet. It's now my screensaver.

David Letterman 644 quotes

I always liked Mitt Romney. H...

I always liked Mitt Romney. He looks like the salesman who follows you around at Brooks Brothers.

David Letterman 644 quotes

Hey, guess who's gay? The Gre...

Hey, guess who's gay? The Green Lantern from the comic books. Today Mitt Romney knocked him down and shaved his head.

David Letterman 644 quotes

President Obama's trying to w...

President Obama's trying to work out a nuclear deal with Iran, and the Republicans are steamed. They got together and sent Iran a letter about the nuclear deal. They said if this doesn't work, by God, they're going to send Seth Rogen and James Franco.

David Letterman 644 quotes

In the last 48 hours King Abd...

In the last 48 hours King Abdullah from Saudi Arabia passed away. I have a moral dilemma. The king passed away three or four days ago. Is it too soon to hit on Queen Latifah?

David Letterman 644 quotes

Rick Perry has now accused Mi...

Rick Perry has now accused Mitt Romney of hiring illegal aliens to work on his hair.

David Letterman 644 quotes

Mitt Romney is running for pr...

Mitt Romney is running for president again. That will be attempt No. 3. Well, everybody needs a hobby. He's almost certainly running, and I'm almost certainly retiring, so I don't care.

David Letterman 644 quotes

John Boehner is a member of a...

John Boehner is a member of a country club in Ohio. It turns out that the bartender was plotting to poison Boehner. Now wait a minute. Isn't that the movie with Seth Rogen and James Franco?

David Letterman 644 quotes

If Ricky Schroder and Gary Co...

If Ricky Schroder and Gary Coleman had a fight on television with pool cues, who would win? 1) Ricky Schroder 2) Gary Coleman 3) The television viewing public

David Letterman 644 quotes

President Obama is going to t...

President Obama is going to take two weeks to unwind, as opposed to President Bush, who never wound.

David Letterman 644 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....