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Women can do anything men can...

Women can do anything men can do. Except math, chess, running, jumping, lifting stuff, fixing things, making money, hockey, surfing, driving, making decisions, being tall, taking out the garbage, tipping, fishing, being funny (on purpose), reading a map, listening to good bands, writing, running the country, inventing anything important, or being fun to hang out with.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

You know your girlfriend is t...

You know your girlfriend is too young when she'll do everything in bed but go upside down because it's too scary.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

We'll put an asterisk next to...

We'll put an asterisk next to Barry Bonds' name, sure, as soon as we put one next to Babe Ruth's name. Getting to break records before black people were allowed to play? Excuse me, where is that asterisk?

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

God does not hate gay people....

God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

You know who makes a great fi...

You know who makes a great first impression? Liars.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

A white lady came running up ...

A white lady came running up to me after a show. She goes, What gives you the right to do jokes about black people like that. And I'm like, Listen lady, my best friend is Cuban. And that's close enough.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

You know what really keeps yo...

You know what really keeps your staff on their toes? A harpoon gun.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

I don't think I could stab so...

I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

Being a white boxer is like b...

Being a white boxer is like being a republican. No matter how hard you work, you'll always lose because of the Mexicans.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

If you like soccer, then welc...

If you like soccer, then welcome to America. See, our country already has entertainment so watching people chase a ball for four hours to end 0 - 0 is not enjoyable - unless, of course, the bleachers collapse and half of Europe dies.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

This is what I say to the mos...

This is what I say to the most conservative person that's so terrified of gay marriage becoming legal. Just because the state says it's legal, it's not like God's going to let them into Heaven. So you can still sleep sound every night knowing that goal line defense is up at the pearly gates.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

The great thing about Los Ang...

The great thing about Los Angeles is that you can get so much money in this town by constantly failing. You can get a lot of television deals that don't go anywhere, but you still get paid.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfe...

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

It's all fun and games until ...

It's all fun and games until someone gets a boner.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

I heart abortion. Where's the...

I heart abortion. Where's the shirt for that, urban outfitters?! And it won't be a normal heart. It'll be a dead infant heart. Y'know what the back will say? Problem Solved.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

It's funny... you can make fu...

It's funny... you can make fun of AIDS or Haiti, but if you make fun of some starlet in Hollywood's looks? That's like the one thing... the line you are not to cross.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

I never want to cannibalize m...

I never want to cannibalize my act, and I'm really excited that I am going to be able to perform new material. I'm not a huge fan of repeating jokes, and I don't really do any of my old material from old stand-up acts.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

Instead of dumping all my mon...

Instead of dumping all my money on an independent film that nobody would watch and most people would make fun of behind my back, I decided, 'I'm just going to buy a house.'

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

I really don't work a whole l...

I really don't work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It's really made the touring a lot less grueling.

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

Here's what I tell people now...

Here's what I tell people now when they come to my shows: 'First of all, thank you for stimulating the economy, or at least my economic package.'

Daniel Tosh 234 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....