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Self-evident, adj. Evident to ...

Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

You don't have to be stupid to...

You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

Botany, n. The science of vege...

Botany, n. The science of vegetables - those that are not good to eat, as well as those that are. It deals largely with their flowers, which are commonly badly designed, inartistic in color, and ill-smelling.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

EXCEPTION, n. A thing which ta...

EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

Miss: A title with which we br...

Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

A certain nervous disorder aff...

A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

A hollow edifice erected for t...

A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

Occident: The part of the worl...

Occident: The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient. It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful subtribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call war and commerce. These, also, are the principal industries of the Orient.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

FEMALE, n. One of the opposing...

FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

Hope is desire and expectation...

Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

There are two instruments wors...

There are two instruments worse than a clarinet - two clarinets.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

ABNORMAL, adj. Not conforming ...

ABNORMAL, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested. Wherefore the lexicographer adviseth a striving toward the straiter [sic] resemblance of the Average Man than he hath to himself. Whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, the prospect of death and the hope of Hell.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

ACCOMPLICE, n. One associated ...

ACCOMPLICE, n. One associated with another in a crime, having guilty knowledge and complicity, as an attorney who defends a criminal, knowing him guilty. This view of the attorney's position in the matter has not hitherto commanded the assent of attorneys, no one having offered them a fee for assenting.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with grea...

CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to be deeply moved. 'What!' said one of his disciples, 'you weep at the death of an enemy?' 'Ah, 'tis true,' replied the great Stoic; 'but you should see me smile at the death of a friend.'.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

Honorable, adj.: Afflicted wit...

Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, 'the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.'.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beet...

SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar 'tumble-bug.' It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity. Its habit of incubating its eggs in a ball of ordure may also have commended it to the favor of the priesthood, and may some day assure it an equal reverence among ourselves. True, the American beetle is an inferior beetle, but the American priest is an inferior priest.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

Magpie, n.: A bird whose theiv...

Magpie, n.: A bird whose theivish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

HOG, n. A bird remarkable for ...

HOG, n. A bird remarkable for the catholicity of its appetite and serving to illustrate that of ours. Among the Mahometans and Jews, the hog is not in favor as an article of diet, but is respected for the delicacy and the melody of its voice. It is chiefly as a songster that the fowl is esteemed; the cage of him in full chorus has been known to draw tears from two persons at once. The scientific name of this dicky-bird is _Porcus Rockefelleri_. Mr. Rockefeller did not discover the hog, but it is considered his by right

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

REVOLUTION, n. A bursting of t...

REVOLUTION, n. A bursting of the boilers which usually takes place when the safety valve of public discussion is closed.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

PRIMATE, n. The head of a chur...

PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead. He is commonly dead.

Ambrose Bierce 1281 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....