35. Ever Heard the One About the Pacemaker?
Never good enough to win the race
He was always asked to make the pace
Speeding off then left behind
To watch someone else win the golden mile
Tired of always being forgott...
Never good enough to win the race
He was always asked to make the pace
Speeding off then left behind
To watch someone else win the golden mile
Tired of always being forgott...
Boys own hero born again
Savior of the Empire
Come to save our national game
Against all odds, and umpire
Once a simple cricketer
now champion of bravado
He's...
At Farnley Park cricket ground there's a Sycamore tree
And it stands thirty feet inside the boundary
I think that someone slapped a Preservation Order on the tree
So it's good the...
I heard that in the First World War
The soldiers called a truce
For a Christmas game of football
Instead of fighting their pointless war
Instead of fighting their pointless...
Bees buzzing, birds singing
The jack turning off the crown
A lawnmower in the distance
The wood coming nicely 'round
Sitting near the green just chatting
A bad rub, ...
Sniffer Clarke
Chopper Harris
The Doog
Crazy Horse
Norman Bite Yer Legs
The Barnsley Spud
Bonetti The Cat
Alan Ball's White
Alan Ball's White
In '36 the world's teams
Played up, played up, and played the game
Runners, jumpers, footballers
All sieg-heilling the Fuhrer
Not so the black Americans
Who, point-b...
Away from work finding peace
With a swing on the seventeenth lined with trees
You're out playing golf for the day
Hoping that with a bit of luck
Someone will study a chemis...
Sat with strawberries and cream
Listening to all the players scream
From right to left and left to right
"The ball was in!"
"No, it was out!"
The money goes up the f...
A quiet Sunday afternoon, away from town and work
Scatter all the groundbait down, relax with rod and hook
But as the worm he wriggles round he dreams of just one wish
The angler ...
The wife she washes the football strip
The wife buys my sports socks and irons my kit
I lose a golf shoe, the wife looks for it
And that's what I call teamwork
And that's w...
When racing fast it's easy enough
To make a wrong decision
Just be sure that when you crash
You're on television
You're on television
You're on television
You...
In the light of the ignorance and misplaced fear
Of the panicked bosses of the Football League
It isn't surprising that hugging and kissing
Are banned on account of the threat of ...
When Grandstand's finished, and Sport On Two
And there's nothing much left to do
Too lazy to leave the armchair
Can only manage to plug in the computer
And pretend that thi...
Whilst Robson plays his Sharp CD
And Beardsley paints his lounge "hint of green"
And the big clubs dream of a Superleague
Of Keegan's "reasonable" three thousand a week
But...
Old, old limbs move slowly now
Up and down stairs from bed to chair
A balsa puppet struggles to remember
Cheering crowds and famous victories
That was a full life
No...
That Thompson and Cram both lost in Rome
Was no surprise, when one thinks
Of all the rubbish they consumed
Those cereals and drinks
Lured by big advertising deals
Fo...
Where did the chinaman go?
Where did the chinaman go?
Bowled out of favor when the paceman move in
As pitches got faster with no turn or spin
"Bowl faster, bowl at him, bow...
Now he's going for the grey ball
Into the top left pocket
A touch off the slightly darker grey ball
And he's snookered behind the grey ball
Oh, he's going for the grey ball...
Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun
Taking on the locals, every man jack of 'em
Stupid, drunken, gobby toughs
No excuse is good enough
Arrogant, ignorant, inse...
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