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If lawyers are disbarred and c...

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Why do they put pictures of cr...

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

Steven Wright 599 quotes

For my sister's 50th birthday,...

For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

The speed of time is one secon...

The speed of time is one second per second.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I was once arrested for resist...

I was once arrested for resisting arrest.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

My father was a small claims c...

My father was a small claims court jester.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I have a fax machine with 'fa...

I have a fax machine with 'fax waiting'.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I was skydiving horizontally....

I was skydiving horizontally.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

The other night I came home la...

The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, 'Right here, officer.'

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I went to the hardware store t...

I went to the hardware store to buy some batteries, but they weren't included, so I had to buy them again.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I used to own an ant farm but ...

I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Having sex with her is incredi...

Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

My socks DO match. They're the...

My socks DO match. They're the same thickness.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I made a chocolate cake with w...

I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, 'Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?' I said, 'yes.'

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I eat Swiss cheese from the in...

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

My friend Sam has one leg. I w...

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

The sun never sets on the Brit...

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I brought a mirror to Lovers' ...

I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

How many people does it take t...

How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?

Steven Wright 599 quotes

The sky already fell. Now what...

The sky already fell. Now what?

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

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Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

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Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....