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I was in a job interview and I...

I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy 'Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?' He said 'I don't know'. I said 'I don't want your job'.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

My friend Winnie is a procrast...

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

The Stones, I love the Stones....

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney..

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I changed my headlights the ot...

I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now
when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still ...

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I like to skate on the other s...

I like to skate on the other side of the ice.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Isn't the best way to save fac...

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I collect rare photographs... ...

I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Women... can't live with 'em.....

Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I had just received my degree ...

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Yesterday I parked my car in a...

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing...

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I saw a sign at a gas station....

I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

A cop stopped me for speeding/...

A cop stopped me for speeding/ He said, 'Why were you going so fast?' I said, 'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing [mimes steering wheel]? This steers it'

Steven Wright 599 quotes

The other night I was lying in...

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I'm addicted to placebos. I co...

I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I'm not naked, I'm in the band...

I'm not naked, I'm in the band.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Yeah, but I don't believe ever...

Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Do you have any toy train sche...

Do you have any toy train schedules?

Steven Wright 599 quotes

One time the power went out in...

One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I'm so hyper. (said with a ver...

I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Because I don't believe everyt...

Because I don't believe everything I read.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

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Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

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Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

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Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

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Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....