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I saw a sign: 'Rest Area 25 M...

I saw a sign: 'Rest Area 25 Miles'. That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

All of the people in my buildi...

All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic herbals for ceramic cats.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

The other day, I was walking m...

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

When I was ten, my pa told me ...

When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

In hindsight, I realized I cou...

In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I wrote a song, but I can't re...

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, 'I think I might have written that.'

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Isn't the best way to save fac...

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I collect rare photographs... ...

I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Women... can't live with 'em.....

Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I had just received my degree ...

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Yesterday I parked my car in a...

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing...

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I saw a sign at a gas station....

I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

A cop stopped me for speeding/...

A cop stopped me for speeding/ He said, 'Why were you going so fast?' I said, 'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing [mimes steering wheel]? This steers it'

Steven Wright 599 quotes

The other night I was lying in...

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I like to skate on the other s...

I like to skate on the other side of the ice.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I'm so hyper. (said with a ver...

I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>

Steven Wright 599 quotes

One time the power went out in...

One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

My house is made out of balsa ...

My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

The other day I ... no wait, t...

The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Do you have any toy train sche...

Do you have any toy train schedules?

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

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Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

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Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

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Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

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Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....