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You know how it is when you go...

You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment and nobody else shows up and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

They say you're not supposed t...

They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

People think my friend George ...

People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Ever wonder what the speed of ...

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Clones are people two....

Clones are people two.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I was thinking that women shou...

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I saw a vegetarian wearing a f...

I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. so I looked closer. it was made of grass.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I forgot and left the lighthou...

I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I used to work at a health foo...

I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I used to be an airline pilot....

I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Sometimes I... No, I don't....

Sometimes I... No, I don't.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I'm kinda tired. I was up all ...

I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I washed mud off of mud....

I washed mud off of mud.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I saw a tree fall in the woods...

I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I was watching the Superbowl w...

I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I don't like the sound of my p...

I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this <<<>>><<>><<<<. I go down to the pet store and said, 'Give me another ten guppies, I got a lot of calls yesterday.'

Steven Wright 599 quotes

My grandfather gave me a watch...

My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Tinsel is really snakes' mirro...

Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

I took a baby shower....

I took a baby shower.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

When I was five years old I wa...

When I was five years old I was on a merry go round. There was a gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded. There I was running down the street on a purple wooden horse.

Steven Wright 599 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....