The optimist sees the future a...
The optimist sees the future as a rabbit sees the oncoming truck - getting bigger, not closer.
Let us forget the past - this ...
Let us forget the past - this is the only way to be genuinely surprised.
A hundred percent of marriages...
A hundred percent of marriages end in divorce, disappearance or death.
In America, fundamentalist Chr...
In America, fundamentalist Christians believe the world was created 6,000 years ago - in England people drink in bars that are older than that.
Scientists used to do an exper...
Scientists used to do an experiment whereby a dog's repeated reward for performing a task was unaccountably replaced by punishment. The dog, knowing it would be penalized for doing well or doing badly, would become melancholic and inactive. This and other unforeseeable results were funded by taxing up to sixty percent of people's earnings. People became strangely melancholic and inactive
A society will manufacture an ...
A society will manufacture an image of progress and locate it in the direction it wishes to take us.
Honesty is the voice that is a...
Honesty is the voice that is acceptable in every matter.
Stab me if you can enjoy it - ...
Stab me if you can enjoy it - but not if it feels like a duty. Stab me vertically if I'm lying down and horizontally if I'm running
Biting enemies seems to be acc...
Biting enemies seems to be acceptable in a surprisingly narrow range of circumstances, or so a ninja shouted at me once
Most books are so well written...
Most books are so well written they barely have any effect on the reader's senses
One golfer a year is hit by li...
One golfer a year is hit by lightning. This may be the only evidence we have of God's existence.
The best way of getting into s...
The best way of getting into something is to think of it as mischief.
A key and a strangler - this i...
A key and a strangler - this is all a simple tale requires.
The most amusing thing about a...
The most amusing thing about a pantomime horse is the necessity of having to shoot it twice.
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