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Арабские красавицы на фестивале в Дубаи. ТОП-10Арабские красавицы на фестивале в Дубаи. ТОП-10 14 самых удивительных вертикальных садов мира14 самых удивительных вертикальных садов мира Крупнейшие радиационные аварии и катастрофы современностиКрупнейшие радиационные аварии и катастрофы современности
Stephen Colbert

The interesting thing about f...

The interesting thing about fake news and fake media is that it's a heresy against reality. Again, as a Catholic, I was taught that the greatest sin was heresy. Because not only are you a sinner, you are proselytizing and inviting other people into your sinful state through your heresy. You're a recruiter for your own fallen state. Donald Trump is a heretic against reality. Basically, he's lying for sport. He's inviting people into his heresy that there is no objective reality.

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

I don't know a lot about poli...

I don't know a lot about politics. I like talking about human behavior. Politicians are funny to me because they often say one thing and behave a different way.

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

Senator Kerry does not suppor...

Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President Bush, on the other hand, has given our troops an opportunity to fight without end. That's creating jobs. In fact, the president's policies helped create 104 more job openings last month. Now who's stupid, Senator?

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

Cardinal Dolan, of course, ha...

Cardinal Dolan, of course, has a very, very hard job: trying to hold up Catholic family values in sexually liberal New York City. I'm not saying New York is the Gay Mecca. But it's at least Gay-rusalem.

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

It's no surprise I am addicte...

It's no surprise I am addicted to all the Republican presidential candidates. They are like crack -- in that they will devastate black communities.

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

It's time for me to give out ...

It's time for me to give out an award to newly elected Majority Leader John Boehner. Mr. Boehner was elected just a few days ago to reform House Republicans, who are feeling the heat from lobbyist scandals. Well, CNN found out that he rents his two-bedroom apartment from a lobbyist who had clients who had interests in legislation that Boehner sponsored. And for that, Mr. Boehner, you've just won a pair of Stephen Colbert's big brass balls.

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

There must be a God, because ...

There must be a God, because I don't know how things work.

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

Nothing reassures parents mor...

Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on weekdays.

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

Donald Trump is a strong pres...

Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

There was sort of a negative ...

There was sort of a negative association with the military. Maybe growing up in the South or being in a family with members of the military, I didn't have that negative connotation, but I did have this 'separate' connotation. I was ashamed to realize I had it and did not realize I had it until I was [in Iraq]. I was so impressed by the people I met over there and there was just a sense of connection and gratitude towards those people.

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

I actually do not think that'...

I actually do not think that's how what's happening to our government is going to be stopped. I think people who are willing to be civically engaged and believe in the promises and the progress of the last fifty years that will save this country.

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

Look, PETA! If God hadn't wan...

Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

A lot of people have said, "O...

A lot of people have said, "Oh, I, boy, I wish Hillary Clinton would just go away."

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

So what? A lobbyist cheated I...

So what? A lobbyist cheated Indian tribes out of $25 million then laundered their money through phony Christian charities trying to stop other Indian tribes from getting casinos [on screen: 'Thou Shalt Not Compete'] and bribe congressmen in the process. Know what I call that? I call that business as usual in Washington. [on screen: 'Screwing Indians']

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

Everything in nature has foun...

Everything in nature has found a niche, a perfect harmony of balance. Man need to find his niche, his perfect balance, where he fits in the natural cycle

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

Am I proud of being straight?...

Am I proud of being straight? No. You know why? Because if I start acting proud, that's going to make me seem kind of gay.

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

I don't think anybody can wit...

I don't think anybody can with a straight face say that the Russians did not set out to influence our election, and they did so.

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

Marijuana is a gateway drug t...

Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

Made no mistake: America is a...

Made no mistake: America is a Christian nation. The bedrock of our theo-democracy is our Judeo-Christian values. that term, by the way, is a bit of a misnomer. It implies that Christianity and Judaism are equal.

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes
Stephen Colbert

I believe that people, more o...

I believe that people, more often than not, act with the best possible intentions. And when they don't, that's funny to me. That's why comedy ends up seeming cynical, because you're talking about the gap between what people say and what they do.

Stephen Colbert 453 quotes

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