My experience is that I find myself having to constantly define myself to others, day-in, day-out. The quote that's helped me the most through that is from Toni Morrison's 'BelovedЂќ where she says, 'Definitions belong to the definers, not the definedЂќ - so I find myself defining myself for other people lest I be defined by others and stuck into some box where I don't particularly belong