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I'm husband hunting. Now, I k...

I'm husband hunting. Now, I know all the men are going to be gay but at this point, I need a new gay husband. Or, a new lesbian assistant. If you want something done, tell a lesbian and the she'll chop down a tree. Something like that.

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

I should have my own show by ...

I should have my own show by now. Yeah. How many damn sitcoms does Kelsey Grammer need? How many more stupid Housewives do they need throwing tables and limbs at each other. Yeah, I guess I need to take off my artificial leg and throw it at Vanderpump. I like doing live shows - it's just getting to them that's a hassle.Doing films is fun too ... a good film ... but there's a lot of waiting around.

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

I would just go insane in a p...

I would just go insane in a public school. I don't have enough clothes.You have to be Heidi Klum to go to public school now. It's crazy. I feel sorry for these kids, not to mention that the new Secretary Of Education, Betsy DeVos, is against education.

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

My work is a mitzvah for the ...

My work is a mitzvah for the eyes & ears...and it will help you forget about your problems by thinking about mine for a change!

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

How many of you have ever sta...

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide?

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

My mother always told me I wo...

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, "Just wait."

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

I was born a Love Goddess. My...

I was born a Love Goddess. My parents, Caesar and Joanne, always told me that I was a little Goddess and Petite Flower. I was a Petite Flower, and I had all these brothers who were always trying to boss me around. I told them, "No. You must kiss my hand or kiss my feet". That's how I became the Goddess.

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

This guy says, "I'm perfect f...

This guy says, "I'm perfect for you, 'cause I'm a cross between a macho man and a sensitive man." I said, "Oh, a gay trucker?"

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

I'm half-Italian and half-Pol...

I'm half-Italian and half-Polish. So I'm always putting a hit out on myself.

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

I was nominated for two Gramm...

I was nominated for two Grammy's, but ... more importantly, I like it when I get a letter from someone ... a person that I've affected their lives or I've helped them. That's important to me. Someone will say "I was feeling bad and you helped me".

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

You can't get a body like min...

You can't get a body like mine in a bottle unless you push real hard.

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

I think it might be harder fo...

I think it might be harder for a young comic because there's so much more competition. There's more people trying to do it and there are less rooms. Seriously. The way people do anything now is by getting press - some scandal. It's awful. Somebody has to go on a rooftop with a rifle and they get their own sitcom. It's disgusting.

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

Sorry, I didn't squat and gre...

Sorry, I didn't squat and grease myself and be naked next to Kim Lard-ashian. I mean, no matter what you do - excuse me - you can never compete with her. You can win the Nobel Peace Prize and you can't compete with Kim Lard-ashian's ass.

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

I am more comfortable doing c...

I am more comfortable doing comedy, and I want to perform comedy. When you can really make someone laugh, that's a healing experience. It's like music. A lot of music is really healing.

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

I turned down a date once bec...

I turned down a date once because I was looking for someone a little closer to the top of the food chain.

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

How many of you have ever star...

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide?

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

What do men want? Men want a m...

What do men want? Men want a mattress that cooks.

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

Love Goddess in training. It c...

Love Goddess in training. It could happen.

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

You can't get a body like mine...

You can't get a body like mine in a bottle unless you push real hard.

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

I'm half-Italian and half-Poli...

I'm half-Italian and half-Polish. So I'm always putting a hit out on myself.

Judy Tenuta 10 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....