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I was watching the Animal Pla...

I was watching the Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? Why don't they just call that one the female?

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Stand-up is an amazing art fo...

Stand-up is an amazing art form, I think, because it's all about you having complete control of the situation, but absolutely none.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

On MySpace ... the whole demo...

On MySpace ... the whole demographic of the stand-up comedy fan has changed. It's like an indie band thing. People think they've discovered you.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I talk kinda slow, especially...

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

But in Indiana it's not like ...

But in Indiana it's not like New York where everyone's like, 'We're from New York and we're the best' or 'We're from Texas and we like things big' it's more like 'We're from Indiana and we're gonna move.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Twitter allowed me to talk ab...

Twitter allowed me to talk about parenting in short snippets and find out what I really wanted to say about it, which is that I'm a dad who had no idea what he's doing.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

What kind of life are you lea...

What kind of life are you leading where you consider ketchup fancy? "Well, we ain't rich folk, but on special occasions, I'll break out the ketchup. Grandma's birthday, make her feel special"

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

?Really, there are two types ...

?Really, there are two types of people who go bowling. There are people who really, really love bowling. Then there are the people that are like: wouldn?t it be hysterical if we went bowling??

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

It is amazing how much more a...

It is amazing how much more amazing sleep is in the morning. You wake up and you're like, "I stayed up to do what?! Watch Growing Pains? What was I thinking!?" But at night you're like, "La La La La La, Hey! Growing Pains, awesome! And I've seen this episode. That Kirk Cameron's always in trouble."

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I was always told that Hoosie...

I was always told that Hoosier came from when settlers in the state, when a stranger came on their property they'd say, "Who's there? Who's there?" So people that were from Indiana were the people that said "Who's there?" But what do I know? I don't read or interact with people outside the Internet.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I don't understand the fashio...

I don't understand the fashion industry and the appeal of it. I understand that there are some people who think it's important to them, and they're designers, they're artists, but there seems to be a disproportionate amount of our culture that's caught up in that and the red carpet stuff. It seems like there's a disproportionate amount of attention placed on that.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

They always give you three ke...

They always give you three ketchup packets. When you go back up and ask for more, the guy handing them out always treats you like you're taking from his personal stash. "Looks like my kids aren't having ketchup tonight."

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

It's difficult to parent one ...

It's difficult to parent one kid, let alone five! It's insane. It's this strange, overwhelming mess that I would not trade for anything. I think it's more difficult in New York City. It's not like we can hop in the minivan and go somewhere. I don't own a car. It's chaos anywhere. Being a parent is difficult. Being a son and a daughter is difficult. It's a human relationship.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Cookies at both of them. The ...

Cookies at both of them. The cookies are probably better at Letterman though.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

You ever look for the remote ...

You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, "Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out."

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

This city has so many beautif...

This city has so many beautiful women. I fall in love like every ten minutes, I'm sitting on the subway, I'm like, "There's my wife... there she is - oh, she's getting off. All right, there's the woman - all right, that's a man."

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I'm much more interested in m...

I'm much more interested in making people laugh than getting applause breaks.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

There are some people who kno...

There are some people who know who I am but there are a lot of people that have no idea who I am - which is not to say that that's a bad thing.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

I've been outed as a Christia...

I've been outed as a Christian.

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Babies and toddlers are mostl...

Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does, right?

Jim Gaffigan 337 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

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Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....