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One doesn't do existential the...

One doesn't do existential therapy as a freestanding separate theory; rather it informs your approach to such issues as death, which many therapists tend to shy away from.

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

You know, I think everybody I'...

You know, I think everybody I've seen has come from some other therapy, and almost invariably it's very much the same thing: the therapist is too disinterested, a little too aloof, a little too inactive. They're not really interested in the person, he doesn't relate to the person. All these things I've written so much about. That's why I've made such a practice really, over and over to hammer home the point of self-revelation and being more of yourself and showing yourself. Every book I write I want to get that in ther

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

In a study we did of bereaveme...

In a study we did of bereavement, we found that rather impressive numbers of widows and widowers had not simply gone back to their pre-loss functioning, but grown. This was due to a kind of increased existential awareness that resulted from this confrontation with the death of another. And I think it brought them in touch with their own death, so they began to experience a kind of preciousness to life that comes with an experience of its transiency.

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

One reason patients are reluct...

One reason patients are reluctant to work in a therapy group is they fear that things will go too far, that the powerful therapist or the collective group might coerce them to lose control--to say or think or feel things that will be catastrophic. The therapist can make the group feel safer by allowing each patient to set his or her limits and by emphasizing the patient's control over every interaction.

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

If people in their 20s had mor...

If people in their 20s had more death awareness, would that in fact temper their ambition or drive? My hunch is yes. It would certainly do something for those who are most ruthless, who tend to make others most miserable. Some sort of greater awareness of their own finiteness and what their time on earth really is, and what they really want to do with their lives, could help improve them.

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

I don't let any personal views...

I don't let any personal views about religion cause me to want to take away something that's offering the patient comfort. I never want to take away something when I don't have anything better to offer him in a way.

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

I must stop him from being one...

I must stop him from being one of those who call themselves good because they have no claws.

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

To the best of my knowledge, e...

To the best of my knowledge, every acute inpatient ward offers some inpatient group therapy experience. Indeed, the evidence supporting the efficacy of group therapy, and the prevailing sentiment of the mental health profession, are sufficiently strong that it would be difficult to defend the adequacy of the inpatient unit that attempted to operate without a small group program.

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

Specialness as a primary mode ...

Specialness as a primary mode of death transcendence takes a number of other maladaptive forms. The drive for power is not uncommonly motivated by this dynamic. One's own fear and sense of limitation is avoided by enlarging oneself and one's sphere of control. There is some evidence, for example, that those who enter the death-related professions (soldiers, doctors, priests, and morticians) may in part be motivated by a need to obtain control over death anxiety.

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

If I had to pick out a therapi...

If I had to pick out a therapist in a movie that I'd like to go see as a personal therapist, it would be Robin Williams in Goodwill Hunting.

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

Heidegger makes the distinctio...

Heidegger makes the distinction between being absorbed in the way things are in the world and being aware that things are in the world. And if you do the latter, you're not so worried about the everyday trivialities of life, for example, petty concerns about secrecy or privacy.

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

The more unlived your life, th...

The more unlived your life, the greater your death anxiety.

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

Perhaps the single most import...

Perhaps the single most important therapeutic credo that I have is that the unexamined life is not worth living.

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

Were not teaching our students...

Were not teaching our students the importance of relationships with other people: how you work with them, what the relational pathology consists of, how you examine your own conscience, how you examine the inner world, how you examine your dreams.

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

Some day soon, perhaps in fort...

Some day soon, perhaps in forty years, there will be no one alive who has ever known me. That's when I will be truly dead - when I exist in no one's memory. I thought a lot about how someone very old is the last living individual to have known some person or cluster of people. When that person dies, the whole cluster dies,too, vanishes from the living memory. I wonder who that person will be for me. Whose death will make me truly dead?

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

Only the wounded healer can tr...

Only the wounded healer can truly heal. (97)

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

He had learned long ago that, ...

He had learned long ago that, in general, the easier it was for anxious patients to reach him, the less likely they were to call. (107)

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

What? 'Borderline patients pla...

What? 'Borderline patients play games'? That what you said? Ernest, you'll never be a real therapist if you think like that. That's exactly what I meant earlier when I talked about the dangers of diagnosis. There are borderlines and there are borderlines. Labels do violence to people. You can't treat the label; you have to treat the person behind the label. (17)

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

A sense of life meaning ensues...

A sense of life meaning ensues but cannot be deliberately pursued: life meaning is always a derivative phenomenon that materializes when we have transcended ourselves, when we have forgotten ourselves and become absorbed in someone (or something) outside ourselves

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

The creative members of an ort...

The creative members of an orthodoxy, any orthodoxy, ultimately outgrow their disciplines.

Irvin D. Yalom 77 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

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