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My wife is the sweetest, most...

My wife is the sweetest, most tolerant, most beautiful woman in the world. This is a paid political announcement.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

The Doctor says, "You'll live...

The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

The doctor says to the patien...

The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient. The doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!".

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

A man goes to a psychiatrist....

A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

Another drunk goes up to a pa...

Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!"

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

A Jewish man pulls up to the ...

A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

A guy complains of a headache...

A guy complains of a headache. Another guy says, Do what I do. I put my head on my wife's bosom, and the headache goes away. The next day, the man says, Did you do what I told you to? Yes, I sure did. By the way, you have a nice house!

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

Everytime I ask what time it ...

Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

Nurse: "Doctor, the man you j...

Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

When you battle with your con...

When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

A man calls a lawyer's office...

A man calls a lawyer's office. The phone is answered, Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz and Schwartz. The man says, Let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. I'm sorry, he's on vacation. Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. He's on a big case, not available for a week. Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. He's playing golf today. Okay, then, let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. Speaking.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

Some people play a horse to w...

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

I live about four muggings fr...

I live about four muggings from Central Park.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

I know a guy who had his doct...

I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

In elementary school, many a ...

In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

I own a hundred and fifty boo...

I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

I know a man who is a diamond...

I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

He doesn't get ulcers - he gi...

He doesn't get ulcers - he gives them.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

A tough guy told me, "I'll be...

A tough guy told me, "I'll bet you $10 you're dead." I was afraid to bet him.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

I went out with a girl last n...

I went out with a girl last night. She wasn't a Lana Turner. She was more of a stomach turner.

Henny Youngman 230 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

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Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....