And trust. It takes a long time to trust someone. You work with people, anybody you dont know, it takes about a films length to get to know each other. Then if you move on, you have to start right back at the beginning. But if you carry on together and try doing different things, you can all grow together.
I'm more comfortable with myself than when I was younger. I hated myself then. Wait, I didn't hate myself Ђ' that's a strong word. But I was so diffident. I didn't know how to act, for one. I had no confidence in that area or in myself at all, really. I had a big inner critic and still do. I just don't listen to it so much.
I just thought I'd never look good in what everybody else wore. So there's no point trying. You just have to do what suits you, and it doesn't matter if you don't look like everybody else. Be you. That's our gift and we've got to celebrate that, but it does take ages. I was wracked with self-doubt for years. I get spasms of it even now Ђ' I'm not indelibly self-confident.
Sometimes I go, 'What am I doing with my life?Ђќ But then I get letters from young women, or people come up to me, and they say, 'You've made such a difference to my confidence.Ђќ And that is a good thing. I should read more fan mail though. I'm crap at responding.
It feels like a rash. It suddenly seems like I've got a contagion of diseases, I mean awards. But it's nice, it's a nice feeling. It's so weird, because I'm only 46. A lifetime Achievement award... it feels like 'I'm not over yet'. I hope they're not trying to say it's time to stop. I'm only just getting the gist of it.
I'm suffering from stage fright. I don't like making speeches. I'm the kind of introvert actor who likes putting on other people's clothes and pretending to be somebody else, which is completely crazy choice of profession. So, I don't enjoy public speaking and I have every sympathy for anyone who has to do it and doesn't enjoy it.
The thing about the Oscars is real life doesn't stop. You have to get back to planet Earth the following morning. The rubbish needs taking out. The kids will be crying. They'll need feeding. Kids do not care whether you've been to the Oscars!
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