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One may no more live in the wo...

One may no more live in the world without picking up the moral prejudices of the world than one will be able to go to hell without perspiring.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

For every complex problem ther...

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

A society made up of individua...

A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

A metaphysician is one who, wh...

A metaphysician is one who, when you remark that twice two makes four, demands to know what you mean by twice, what by two, what by makes, and what by four. For asking such questions metaphysicians are supported in oriental luxury in the universities, and respected as educated and intelligent men.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

Opera in English, is about as ...

Opera in English, is about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

A nun, at best, is only half a...

A nun, at best, is only half a woman, just as a priest is only half a man.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

Philosophy consists very large...

Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

There is no record in history ...

There is no record in history of a happy philosopher.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

The most valuable of all human...

The most valuable of all human possessions, next to a superior and disdainful air, is the reputation of being well-to-do.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

What men value in this world i...

What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

The urge to save humanity is a...

The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false face for the urge to rule it.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

The chief value of money lies ...

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

Most people want security in t...

Most people want security in this world, not liberty.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

Men have a much better time of...

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later, for another thing, they die earlier.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

Man weeps to think that he wil...

Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born so long ago.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

A good politician is quite as ...

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

The public, with its mob yearn...

The public, with its mob yearning to be instructed, edified and pulled by the nose, demands certainties; it must be told definitely and a bit raucously that this is true and that is false. But there are no certainties.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

The truth is that the average ...

The truth is that the average schoolmaster, on all the lower levels, is and always must be essentially and next door to an idiot, for how can one imagine an intelligent man engaging in so puerile an avocation?

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

After all, all he did was stri...

After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

It is hard to believe that a m...

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

H. L. Mencken 1131 quotes

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